Husband with a short fuse .... how did you know it was time to leave?

[MangoPuree]

Not OW related but how did you know it was time to leave your DH and how did you find the courage to do it especially with dc involved?

I have huge admiration for women who leave their DH and go it alone with the DC.

Thanks

Can you give us some examples of your DH 'short fuse'?
Has he ever been violent?
Smashed things, hit things?
Verbally abused you?
Made you feel inadequate and 'small'?
Financially abuse you? i.e. no access to family money.
Need more background here.

But if you aren't happy and you want to leave then you need to get an exit plan together.

I split with my DH but that was due to OW so I'm not sure I'm much help.

If there is a negative effect on children and this is avoidable if you split - that's enough of a reason to leave.

Rather like a PP I think it helps to pin the tail on the donkey and be more specific about the behaviour you're calling a 'short fuse'. Bullying behaviour is sadly very common and, if you're thinking about DCs, one good reason for leaving can be that you don't want them to grow up in a hostile or volatile environment.

Other than that, you might find it helps to get proper information and advice so that you can start taking the 'nice idea' of leaving and turning it into something more real.

Well, mine had a 'short fuse' - whenever anyone said anything he disagreed with (no matter how minor) - he would shout and scream and call me names.

I knew it was time to leave as I was so miserable. I hated myself for placating him and for encouraging my step daughter (then aged 8) to placate him too. I had my son and just woke up and realised I couldn't bear for him to go the same way.

So I made plans to leave.

Then one day he strangled me, and those plans became reality and I left the next day.

If you aren't happy now, and have given up hope of it changing, now's the time to plan an exit.

I left when it became blindingly obvious he wasn't going to change and nothing about me or his children did or said would ever make him happy.

Believe me, getting out of this sort of situation is good for the kids.