WWYD about this?

[irrationalme]

I will try to be concise and brief.

I have a neighbour, I will call her X.

X is a childminder and minded DS for several years. I 'sacked' X for two reasons; X pretended she had lost my DS to 'pay me back' for being unable to find another of her charges whom I had been instructed to look after on a particular day. X apologised to me for this admitting it was a silly game ( I had gone ballistic at her for such a stupid and frankly disturbing prank ).

X continued to mind DS, though I found her a bit cold with me

X then went on holiday with 3 hours notice leaving her DD in charge of mindees at which point I told X I would no longer be needing her services.

Now, over the time X was childminding it was all very friendly, I know other mindees mums and all was well.

Since I 'sacked' her I have discovered that whilst she was still childminding for me X sought out an ex employee of mine who left my employ on strained terms and 'gossiped' about other friends/collegues of mine with a view to causing me trouble.

X saw my DP in the street and told him she prays for him every day, 'Living with that woman'.

We are moving and DP overheard X shouting in the street to another neighbour that 'the place will be better without me'

Yesterday a very good friend of mine came to visit and X cornered her in the street and gave her a warning that she should be very careful of me as I had information on her and I could 'take her down' if I felt like it. X told my friend I was a dangerous woman and not to be trusted if she got on the wrong side of me ( I have no idea what information she thinks I would use, it's not my style anyway )

I have so far maintained a dignified silence with all of this and will continue to do so. However it's beginning to grate that every now and again X has another stab at what feels like some weird personal vendetta against me. She is the type that seems to know everybodies business in the area and on several occasions has imparted gossip to me about people of which I have no interest and has gone in one ear and out the other.

My feeling is I say nothing but I'm feeling really pissed off with her crap attitude which surfaces every now and again and feel like I'm caught up in some weird stepford wives scenario.

I forget about her until another incident arises.

How soon before your house move comes about? In the meantime, I'm sure your friends think she's a complete loony. As an aside, is she a registered childminder? Someone who deliberately cracks on to a mother that they have lost a baby and then calls it a 'prank' doesn't sound fit to be in charge of anyone's children. Perhaps you could go for 'don't get mad, get even' and scuttle her boat by reporting your concerns to the authorities after you've gone?

moving this summer, we are in no hurry and leaving the area, however I will still have a business locally

She sounds bored and bitter... a bad combination IME. If you tackle her directly I think you'll just feed the fire. That's why I suggested a slightly oblique approach of reporting her. Being a childminder often means having quite detailed knowledge of a family and she's abusing her position.

This is why I didn't want to use her anymore as I felt my DS and I were being 'abused'. Trouble is, I don't want to get involved in tit for tat, just want us all to go our separate ways and get on with our lives .

Stay calm. Log what you hear and if friends tell you, ask them if they'll be willing to support you if you have to take action.
But mainly, rise above it and plan to be out of there soon.
She's obviously a bit barking.
Write it all up for the childminding authorities (still social services?) when you've moved.

Log every event with time and date. Report her to the council - there's no way this woman should be a childminder.

I would also be tempted to ring 101 and ask for advice. Perhaps a solicitor's letter talking about harassment and slander would stop her?

I've just sent her a text stating that our business relationship & friendship are over , cited four examples of her behaviour & kindly asked her to desist from harassing me via third persons with a thank you at the end.

I'm really fed up with it. Yesterdays incident was just a bit much, even my friend felt slightly threatened as x ranted on about what I could do and perversely, x is the one trying to 'take me down' with her nasty behaviour.

I also think you should report her to the social services. She sounds unhinged, and someone this irrational and volatile should not be looking after small children.

X always looked after the children well, interaction with adults is askew. I have not used her services for several months and have moved on from our fallout. I know I could drop her in it but I don't want to do that as she always looked after DS very well. It's me she's attacking

Why have you asked for advice?

Anyone behaving in this fashion isn't fit to look after children and should be reported.

I can't see why you won't.