Your experience of POF (aaarrrrgggghhhh)

[ginahhh]

I have been trying online dating and would like to know if POF is as bad for you as it is for me.
Constant rude messages and endless idiots, weirdos and worse.
For any men on here, a sexually graphic description of what you'd do to me is not flattering or appreciated! And stop with the shirtless undies photos.
Any funny suggestions for what POF should stand for will be appreciated :)

I never had any sexual stuff either ... I had weirdos - the guy who said I'd be perfect for his 80 year old dad (I was 29) and some guy who talked of nothing but being the president of the vegemite society at his university. But no weird sexual stuff or anything abusive. My mum's using it now after being single for 20 years and she's just met someone nice, a widower of 65 and they've been going out 3 months now and are very happy together.

I think it totally depends what you write about and the photos you put on your profile to be honest. And also as I said earlier how ruthless you are with the block button. I just blocked loads I didn't think I'd click with.

From the sheer amount of blokes on there, statistically speaking there must be plenty of genuine, decent, attractive blokes who're after more than a dirty shag.

I never met any of them tho.........

Still, was good fun at the time.

I met DH on there, DM met DSDad and my best friend met her husband there too.

Plenty of decent blokes on there, at least in the North East.

Another tip - I registered myself under a different postcode to the one I'm actually in, and then searched my own local area so I didn't run the risk of someone from my own area seeing me on there by some random chance. I then messaged the people that interested me... Dh was one of them :) he was 8 years younger than me and living at home with his mum after dropping out of uni but we just really clicked and many years later we are now married, have a toddler son (as well as my older dd from a previous marriage) and I am a sahm.

I didn't find it like that at all OP.

I must have gone on 20 first dates (it's a numbers game!)

about 6 or 7 went to 2nd date. Two of them lasted for about 2-3 months each and were fun, light, encounters which I ended.

And one is my DP of 14 months who is the kindest nicest most normal man I ever met.

I never had one cock shot. Or much filth. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Met my husband on there. First date 5 years ago this September. Dated for 18 months before moving in together. Lived together for 2 years before getting married. Been married nearly a year.
There are lots of idiots on there, but if you are like me, at home with a (then) quite young child, its probably the easiest way of meeting people. Put it this way, its easier to brush off the tossers online than do it in real life. Just don't agree to meet in person until you have chatted online lots.
For me, it was worth the effort. My life to date has not been great, but my husband is the most wonderful man and for the last 5 years i have been very happy and lucky.

Its a numbers game, and POF is where the numbers are.

The way to suceed is to hide your profile (free) then you do the choosing - it works brilliantly.

Just be aware that you'll need to send, say, 25 messages (all the same) to different guys to get one date with someone fabulous.

Patsy I never responded to messages that had obviously been sent out to loads of people. Put me right off -and yes it is obvious!

O god I find it so depressing, I keep going on and off there. I start by being positive after hearing so many success stories.

I'm a 36 yr old not hideously ugly person and all I get is very unattractive, strange, beyond boring people contacting me. I'm not being overly snobby and try to remain open to the idea of online dating.

I was so disappointed last week as had been chatting to someone for a week about to arrange a date but then he sent me a naked pic out of context so inappropriate. I mean what if someone slapped their dick on the table at a pub on a first date!? People think it's acceptable on the internet.

I just can't see how else I'll meet someone, am a single mum with a non involved dad (rare nights out)

I just end up feeling that I'm never going to have sex again!!!

Phew had to get that out!

On POF, if you're a woman who is fairly average looking, average job, etc, you'll get lots of naice messages.

The more attractive you are (and lets lay the myth to rest, it's got nothing to do with what you're wearing in photos, or what you say in your profile, that's just smug BS peddled by certain MNers who consider the fact they never got an explicit photo as some kind of badge of superiority, I am clearly a better person than you kind of thing ) the worse messages you will get.

I have a friend who did catalogue modelling as a teen and is still very pretty now, albeit in a groomed late 30s way. She got some appalling messages from men while on POF, despite there being nothing provocative about her photos (and frankly even if there had been, that's not an invitation for men to send her disgusting filth) or her profile. I also got my share of vileness, and my block list even after a few days was a mile long. there is something about dating sites which brings out the worst in men, and makes them into some kind of keyboard warrior/pervert hybrid.

There are a handful of nice men on there, but the odds of meeting them are tiny, and it is random - that perfect bloke could be your first date from there, your 1000th or somewhere in between. It's a bit like gambling - the longer you do it, you figure the odds have to be in your favour, but really, as with the lottery, it's just chance.

Met my OH on there 5 yrs ago :)

Maybe that is it pigletino. I had a couple of strange messages but nothing filthy but I am plain to average looking.

I met my bf on there and had no dodgy messages. I do think was down to putting 'looking for a relationship' as my aim or whatever. My friemd who didn't want to be so keen (her words) and put the more casual dating option got loads.
Why beat around the bush, just be upfront and don't confuse things.

I did however have a girl send me a friendly chatty message, the kind of conversation two girls might start up in the queue for loo in a bar, kind of along the lines if "what's it like in here?!"
After a couple of messages she asked me out, I was stunned, my profile was clear on my preferences so maybe she thought I'd sleep walk into lesbianism or I'm terribly naive and trusting

So pigletino I got no cock shots because I'm ugly?! Or "average" at best. Thanks. Thanks a bunch.

Or perhaps you see your "mile long" block list as a "badge of honour" I don't know.

That's not the case with my mates....the more attractive one got no cock shots. Sorry but your theory didnt work in my friends cases....

I use POF and have done for years . Have to say I met my long term ones on there, the last was for 4 years. Yes, there all types on there but there are all types everywhere surely.

I found when I had my status as 'wants to date but nothing serious' or whatever it is, I had a load of messages from wankers. When I changed it to 'wants a relationship' the blokes seemed to get slightly more polite! My main problem was loads of messages that just said 'hi' or 'hey' - like I'm going to reply to that?!

But I chatted to a few nice people and ended up meeting one, who I've been on about 5 dates with now and it's going pretty well . Just ignore the wankers.

slightly jealous I never got a cock shot though

Met my DP on there cos we're both cheap Yorkshire folk who'll give owt a try if it's free.
Did have a few randoms offer to spaff in my tits. Which was nice.

I had some hilarious chats with a weirdo bedwetter into japanese rope bondage and a man whose kitchen was allegedly flooded while we were chatting. Then I "met" DP while he was recovering from a hernia op and bored.
We chatted for 2 months then met for a drink. Tomorrow we are getting the keys to our new house and next year we are getting married!
No cock shots for me but I am fairly bombproof and it would just make me laugh as I pressed BLOCK.

bitoutofpractise - I know for a fact you're lovely.

Just spent half an hour looking at Uniform Dating.com

That's 30 mins I'll never get back.

What did you do that for redundantandbitter

Im joking here so don't anyone "jump on me"

I heard a saying that made me chuckle the other day and it went like this (very very generalised to an extreme by the way)

Firemen cheat and Policemen beat. as if!

R&B - NO!! Not uniform dating! It's full of people who don't wear uniforms, looking for those who wear uniforms in a kinky way. That's what I found in my one day on there anyway

Hello R&B! How the very devil are you?! I was thinking of you only yesterday.

And you're right. I'm gawjus!!