How to get cheating DP off the mortgage and start afresh

[BakedBeanFace]

My sister who has just found out this afternoon her DP's having an affair. They've been together five years, bought a house together one year ago. Not married, no children. They both put £7k each into the house as a deposit and both names are on the mortgage. I've offered to loan her £7k to pay his deposit back and she could afford to keep the house on on her own if she took in a lodger but wouldn't be able to get a mortgage of that size on her own if she had to go through the remortgaging process.

Can anyone advise what she needs to do?

For a start he'd need more than 7k back...you'll have to pay him half the money it's made in the year they've owned it. Is there a family member who could act as a guarantor? Perhaps someone in the family could go in the mortgage with her?

However, before these massive issues are dealt with and big decisions made, let her have some time and space to reflect on what's happened.

Wishing her well

Paying him the seven grand isn't going to stop him coming back in five year's time wanting half of the equity she's built up by paying the mortgage on her own all that time. Also, he could move back in and be a complete prick and there wouldn't be anything she could do about it.

Honestly, if she can't raise a mortgage on her own the property should be sold and they split whatever's left after they've paid the agent and the conveyancing fees.

She doesn't need to be financially shackled indefinitely to some cheating arsehole.

I think she needs to get decent financial/legal advice, as he may start being awkward and refuse to sign the house over to her, so she needs to go through the proper channels to ensure it's all done and dusted and he has no future recourse.

Also, once the house stuff is sorted tell her to get officially financially disassociated from him, which she can do via Equifax and Experian. If you've ever held a joint financial product with someone, like a mortgage, their credit record will affect yours. I had to do this when I split from my cheating ex.

You can disassociate thought the credit ref agencies as long as the only product you hold together is a mortgage. I've done it recently. Worth doing as a priority.

Thanks everyone, probably a stupid question but where is the best place for her to get legal advice? An ordinary local solicitor or does it have to be a specialist?

Quite honestly, she doesn't need legal advice. The situation is mostly a financial one.

The only sensible thing to do, if she can't raise a mortgage on her own is to sell the property and share what's left between them equally after all costs have been paid. As I said in my post earlier she won't want to be responsible for paying the whole mortgage on her own for years and then for him to come back and want half of everything. And that's precisely what she could be risking.

Until the house is sold neither of them would be able to raise a mortgage on another property. He could meet someone else, or she could, and they'd both be stuck with this property around their necks like an albatross, and the only way to move forward would be to sell or remortgage. Precisely the same process but later rather than right now, so she would only be putting off the same aggro rather than resolving it once and for all.

The only good way to split is a final and complete one.

I have just gone through this process. It is exactly like applying for a mortgage on your own. If she would not qualify on her own the best thing to do is sell and move on.

I am going through this too.
Unfortunatley, unless there is a lot of equity in the property then she won't be able to keep it on without his name on the mortgage.
If she can't do it as a mortgage on her own then she will have to sell up and move on.

I'm sorry she is going through this.
You're being a good sister.

Unless any of your family are in a position to take over his part of it.
This could get very messy later on though so not necessarily a good option but just a thought.

She's so gutted, aside from the cheating bombshell she's put her heart and soul into renovating this house and she literally just finished decorating last week. On her own she could only afford a flat, I know that's not the end of the world and a lot of people would be grateful to be able to afford their own flat but I'm just so sad for her. Not just because he's cheated and it's the end of the relationship (good riddance IMO) but because she'll lose what she's worked so hard for.

Hellsbellsmelon that's something to consider I hadn't thought of that. Thanks

It's not a matter of someone else "taking over his part of it". It will mean applying for a new mortgage and settling the current one.

It's truly a tragedy to face losing something you've put so much effort into and invested so much emotionally in but hanging onto it may mean she won't be able to move on and accept the end of the relationship and get on with the rest of her life.

Sell it, I say

Probably going to be the only option Bitter. I was hoping there might be a way not to. Thanks for all the advice. I'm so angry!!!! Her last boyfriend did this too!!! GGGGRRRRRRR!!!!!!!