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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I text him or let it be?

9 replies

callow · 29/06/2014 12:32

As a background, I have been separated and divorced for 9 years but haven't had a relationship in that time. It took 5 years before I felt I would be ready again. I joined a singles club a few years ago but haven't met anyone. I have a great time with the people in the club, meeting most weeks. I am very happy being single but I am open to a relationship if one should happen.

In February one of the guys let it be known he was interested in me. He is about 10 years older than me. I felt he was OK but didn't know him well. In the last few months I have met him a few times at the club's social events and started to get to know him. The last few weeks we have been getting closer (dancing all night together) and a few pecks on the lips. He does have close relationship with this one women who says she likes him but doesn't fancy him.

On Friday night he gave me his number and I text him so he had mine. He asked me to a social event that several other club members were going to last night. It was some distance from me but I went along. I got the distinct feeling he was no longer interested. He spent more time cooing over this other lady. Probably a case of now the chase is finished he isn't sure. At the end of the evening he made no further plans with me.

I am just not interested in someone who is not into me. I really don't want him to start any contact.

Should I send a quick text just saying that it isn't going to work out and that we are both after different things or should I just leave it and let him know only if he texts me later?

OP posts:
stolemyusername · 29/06/2014 12:34

I'd say nothing and just delete his number

RhondaJean · 29/06/2014 12:34

Just leave it.

And try not to give it head space if you can avoid it, he sounds like a tit.

kinkyfuckery · 29/06/2014 12:35

I'd just leave it

ImperialBlether · 29/06/2014 12:37

He sounds a right charmer. Maybe it was the chase, who knows? You don't really want to go into the heads of men like that.

Delete his number. If he texts, reply with "Who is this?"

He clearly didn't see it as a date so you mustn't either. If it ever comes up, you should just say, "Oh don't be silly, you and me dating? You're far too old."

hollyisalovelyname · 29/06/2014 12:37

He's playing the two of you off each other. AVOID. He's not a nice man

ImperialBlether · 29/06/2014 13:03

He's a fan of the "pick me" dance, OP, as long as he's not dancing it himself.

Egghead68 · 29/06/2014 13:14

Just leave it and don't think about it. If he texts again take a while to respond and be too busy to meet.

PamDooveOrangeJoof · 29/06/2014 13:27

Love Imperial's advice. Spot on!

callow · 29/06/2014 13:31

Thanks for your replies. I will just ignore him. When I see him again at a social event hopefully he will have got the message.

OP posts:
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