Separated in 2009, divorced 2013. 2011 met partner however has been on /off and never really official. I've ended the 'relationship' however finding it difficult moving forward, slight depression. I have friends, gym etc work and ds to keep occupied. But I want a special person to share my family life. I'm 38 and would love another child and to experience what didn't happen first time around. I couldn't commit to exp, unreliable and could be abusive at times, once physically and some emotional stuff. I'm still in marital home and cannot imagine bringing another man to same place as exh and exp. I feel like I'm going to be single forever. Split with exp although has happened seems to be ongoing in terms of us both letting go, he wants commitment and I can't.. Anyone been here? I'm sure I can't be alone.. How?