Apologies if this is a long post, but I need an outside perspective on my current family situation...
My mother hasn't spoken to me for the last 8 months since my wedding, on the run up to the day there were various issues too many to really go into here the main ones being she tried to get me to exclude my father from the day, the evening before she decided to throw a party for friends and family despite me telling her I wanted an early night, she cooked food for 25 people including vegan dishes for my in laws, I have various intolorances so couldn't eat any thing she cooked, the night before my wedding I had 1 turkey roll to eat, nothing else!
on the day of the wedding she woke me up by opening the door switching on the light and telling me to get up! My bridesmaids got cups of tea in bed and she even stroked one of their faces to wake them up! She then got herself ready and stood dressed waiting for the cars to arrive, I asked her if she would help me into my dress 10 minutes before we were due to leave for the church, she made my bridesmaid help me, she then cried in the car on the way to the church because I hadn't told her she looked nice! While I was running around helping everyone else get ready on my wedding day!
She had a face on the entire day and hardly spoke to either me or dh, the following day she had an epic breakdown in the car park of the hotel which lead to her my gran and step father driving off leaving me, dh and 2 bridesmaids stranded with all our wedding stuff including my dress, and my 2 bridesmaids and a tiny hatchback to fit it it! fortunately a family friend helped us transport all our things and people back to my mums house.
When we got there she wouldn't speak to me and stayed in a different room with my gran while my step father helped us pack all our belongings into our car, my bridesmaids and dh of less than 24 hrs tried to talk to her to see what had happened and she basically called me every name under the sun said I was rude, belligerent ungrateful (we bought them lovely thoughtful and personal thank you gifts to say thank you for their help and support so neither myself or my dh are ungrateful!) she basically said I didn't get any of that from her and she is ashamed of me. I spent the first week of my honeymoon in tears because of this!
At Christmas I asked my db what he wanted for Xmas, he asked for a £50 gift! I explained that this was a bit expensive but I'd give him money towards it, he then turned around and told me I was a horrible c* and I acted like a child on my wedding day ( all my friends say this is not the case and dh, honestly they would all tell me if I was the least bit out of order!) he then went on a foul tirade about how awful I am the same as my mother and how they all talk about me and how horrible a person I am, it got to the point where it was so awful dh felt he need to call my mother to ask her to intervene as he felt it was completely out of order! She told him I had baited my brother and basically asked for it!
As a result of this we didn't feel we could spend Xmas with my family so me and dh spent Xmas alone, we still sent presents for everyone, my mother wouldn't let my step father send ours to us (dh is in contact with him) she told him we could have them when we come over next?!
We sent our wedding DVD to them in the post, no acknowledgement, I am so upset I don't know what to think or do? We are ttc and know that at some point I will have to contact them to tell them hopefully the good news I have no idea how to deal with this or if I even want to deal with this anymore......