I often read the relationship section and post when I think I have an answer or some insight that may help someone out there, based on my life experience etc. I read an interesting post from someone who said that we often start to process traumatic past events when we are settled and happy in our lives. I think the poster said that a counsellor told them this.
Well- this seems to be happening to me lately. I am settled and happy(ish- we all have day to day niggles and life throws all sorts of things..). Lately I have been looking back constantly at a few relationships I had when younger when I didn't listen to my instinct that this or that man was not right for me. I noticed that at a vulnerable time in my life I hooked up with a man-child. I put up with a lot of shit in my early twenties because of low self esteem and that any man was better than no man. Probably because I was bullied at school so that had a deep effect. I was a sensitive child.
But the main thing is that now as a 'grown-up 
I keep having flashbacks to an abusive relationship I had that went on for 2 years. He used to coerce me into doing sexual stuff that I would never do now and tried to get me to take drugs. The final straw came when he wanted me to do cocaine so that gave me the push to go awol on him.
Thankfully we never had kids or financial ties.
But things like supporting him financially (he did not have a job) and other stuff I look back on that person I was and she seems like a stranger.
It is only through educating myself about the nature of abuse and reading stories/ advice on here that I am beginning to get my head round my thought processes back then (20 years ago) and why I stayed with him/ those people.
Not sure what the point of this thread is except just to share and maybe get some insight.