How long for child maintenance under new rules?

[Takebackcontrol]

Hi Ladies, I'm a newbie and posted last month about my financially abusive husband. Together 7 years, married 1.5 years, 2 children - 7 & 5.

I'm proud to say in the last month and with your advice, I've managed to contact Women's Aid, also a recommended solicitor regarding occupation orders (if he doesn't let me back in for stuff when I leave), applied for working/child tax credit and a council house application (just in case) all at my lovely friend's address (where I'll be staying when we go). I've secretly managed to view rentals while friends have the kids, I've begun moving items (particularly important/sentimental stuff) into my friends garage and I've talked agents and landlords into considering the dreaded DSS! I'm a small business owner and have never been made to feel proud of this but apparently the agents think it's a wonderful positive to this situation.

I also (with trepidation) checked my credit score (as I have NOTHING and my STBXH is in debt in his own name) and it came back as excellent - phew! I applied for a secret credit card (with success yay!) today for emergencies during my move and have today (with the help of my sister, who incredibly helped while about to go in for a C section) placed a security deposit on a beautiful, amazing little house in a quaint little village. I know I'll have a mishmash of weird donated, up cycled furniture but I don't care - it'll be all mine. I'll drink tea from my stashed, chipped mugs with my amazing, supportive friends all crammed into my new tiny kitchen and will breath again and be skint and happy.

My question is how long realistically should I expect to wait before I receive child maintenance? The new system is now in place and I have no doubt in my mind that he'll disagree not only with the separation (which I plan to do without warning at the end of July), but also with the amount the calculator says he 'should' pay. I have no issue with the government keeping 4% of my share and charging him or whatever, but want to know if anyone out there has been through this yet? How soon can I go down the official route of having it taken from his salary? Immediately? Legal separation required etc? I will struggle to get my life together without it and need to be realistic etc. He has worked for the same big company for over 20 years so isn't in a position to hide his earnings.

Any advice appreciated as I'll be jumping on this as soon as I'm 'out'.

I hope someone has advice on this. I may be biting off more than I can chew leaving without any real idea of when I can expect payment.

What happens if I don't want to put myself through the emotional abuse I know I'll suffer having to explain why I need X amount of pounds to feed and cloth the kids. It'll be just like being at home. I want to hide and have some department do it for me. I know it sounds cowardly but things will become twisted if I try to arrange something with him and he'll have me doubting what he can afford and what I should expect to receive.

I wouldn't base your future on child support payments. He might be so angry you have escaped without his knowledge that he'll quit his job or do his level best to avoid payment. It's all voluntary now the CSA have disbanded isn't it? Is up to parent's to take eachother to court or agree amicably.

My children's father blatantly earns thousands every month online selling specialist electronic equipment yet only pays £2.50 a week for his children. The CSA knew about his sales but clearly didn't consider them viable as they're all 'secondhand' items.

You won't be offered a council house if you've paid a deposit on a rental.

I agree with the previous poster - it's not wise to depend on maintenance as a vital part of your income needed to stay afloat. It's an incredibly unfair reality, but it's really not advisable to arrange your affairs with this element as a key part of what you need to survive. It's very unpredictable and can stop suddenly even with the most reasonable ex.

I'm currently waiting on a new assessment following over a year of my ex being unemployed. He's co-operating, giving them the right information but I'm not likely to get any meaningful payments until next month, which takes it to 3 months after he started work. If my ex was not co-operating, refused to engage, ignored correspondence and they had to then approach his employer, then it's a long drawn out process, even in the new set up (my case is existing, so a bit different, but it's a long wait even if everything goes as it should).

It shouldn't be the case at all, but you need to work on the basis of not having this income and try and make things add up without that element. If/when the maintenance starts, then it's great and makes life easier, but I just know from experience that life is a lot harder if you depend on that income and it doesn't come for whatever reason.

I went to the CSA after my ex defaulted once on our previous private agreement. That was my terms when we agreed maintenance (he's terrible with money, it was a key reason as to why we split, so I knew I would have to go to CSA if he started to mess me about) and it took 3 months to get the payments started again - so I was 4 mths without that income. 4 mths is just about manageable but the past 15 mths he's been unemployed have been very hard. I've just about managed to keep afloat, and had he not got a job when he did, I was heading into the 'major upheaval' sort of actions I'd have to take to keep afloat. Again, it doesnt mean I lose what I have, it just means significant changes to stay afloat, doable but not what I want to happen, or what I'd choose for my family.

If you want to avoid having to make drastic decisions about where/how you live your life as a result of fluctuating income due to patchy or non-existent maintenance, try if you can to set yourself up to not need the maintenance for your basic survival. Definitely pursue it, but do what you can to stay afloat without it while that all happens.

Good luck, I hope it all works out for you & your DC. You are doing the right thing.

Sounds like your doing absolutely amazing!
Well done on making so many plans to ensure a safe future for yourselves!

As above, don't rely on child maintenance.

My horrible abusive ex refused to pay anything so reluctantly went through CSA, he gave up a good well paid job and is now living on benefits.

I get £2.50 per week!

Hubbubs - I don't think that is right. They want you to agree voluntarily between you, but you do not have to and can still opt for the CSA. I would never, ever agree to a voluntary arrangement. If you had to use the CSA in the first place it is because your ex is generally difficult or unreliable and you had no option.

I understand the proposal is eventually to charge the NRP a percentage (is it 20 per cent?) and the resident parent will pay 4% I don't agree with this because the agency is unprofessional and chaotic.

Child support is kept out of family court proceedings. The court rely on the CSA or whatever they are calling the agency at the moment.

Do use the CSA and do not enter into a private arrangement or he could hold you to ransom. It also takes ages to re-establish support if you are not using the agency. If you are they have a set of protocols they use - phone calls, letters then deduction from earnings orders.

However, what others have said is right, you absolutely cannot build your future or rely on child support because circumstances always change. Good luck to you.

Hi everyone and thanks for your comments - thought I was a lone voice out there for a while!

He has a good income and is VERY materialistic, always wants the best of everything so I feel certain he wouldn't quit his job. I think he'd be more likely to pay up and bitch about how I've ruined his and the children's lives to his family.

His income is always consistent and not sales based at all and I have copies of P60 etc for my own records. I know if I give an inch with any kind of mutual agreement I'll be begging for money every month and hearing how he can't afford it. I don't want to start off on that foot so fully intend to take the 'official' route from the get go if at all possible. I may perhaps send a calculator screen shot of expected payments to him and tell him if payments don't commence that I'll immediately hand it over to the authorities dealing with this and hope he just goes ahead to save a bit of money.

His father and step-mum are well off and we love each other dearly and get along so well (they gave their full support when I left in January and often criticise his behaviour towards me and the children). I hope that should things become difficult, they either help out in the interim or shame him into carrying out his obligations.

I accept what everyone says about not relying on his money and I know I can afford to live (just) on everything else so we should be ok. I've been surviving on £150-200 a month from him for all food/mobile/petrol/childcare/school activities etc so even £100 more will feel like a walk in the park! A coffee in Starbucks and buying my children a magazine each would be a luxury!