inviting "new/potential" mummy friends to mine for a cup of tea

[Happydutchmummy]

All my close friendships were formed at school and university (a long long time ago and I've forgotten how we initially became friends and bonded) And although I have a fabulous group of friends I've noticed that I'm at a different stage of my life to them (I have 2dc and work very part time whereas they are still climbing their career ladder, I worry about school catchment areas and the contents of nappies, etc, and its just stuff that we don't have in common)

So I've been braving mother and toddler groups hoping to meet some new people who can become my 'mummy friends'. But how do I go from just seeing them on a weekly basis within a group to actual true friendship? Is the next stage to invite them round to mine under the guise of a playdate (although the babies are only 7 months and don't really interact that much) or should I suggest meeting in a park one sunny day or do it totally differently?

I think turning up at the same groups every week is the start. Go to groups in your community if you can. I found the activities better than groups. One of my bfs was made at sing and sign. We are over 4 years down the road.

I've been going to the group's for 4 months now, and I've got to know the other mums. Out of all of them I have shortlisted 2 as having real potential to become my new friends. So should I just invite them round to mine one day?

I have no idea why I'm feeling so nervous about this.

Is there a cafe near to the group you could mention 'I'm thinking about calling into xxx on the way home if anyone is free' might be easier than 'come to mine'

Honestly, it's really not that hard! Just say anything along the lines of "do you fancy a play date one day next week?" or "have you tried that new cafe/library/play park yet? Fancy going one day?"

If they don't want to, they'll make excuses. If they do, they'll say yes. You have nothing whatsoever to lose.

It does take a little while to get friendships established but you'll probably find they jump at it... Mat leave can be really hard and lonely!

Just ask! I was delighted to be invited to other people's houses. They're likely to want new friends too!

All good points. I will go to a group tomorrow and invite them.

I know that it shouldn't be hard and I've got nothing to lose but somehow I've got a mental block on being able to do this.

groups finish in a couple of weeks for the summer which gives you the perfect opportunity.

I bit the bullet and did this, and got three amazing new real friends from it.

I just asked if they (individually) wanted to meet up for coffee/ come round to the paddling pool (babies)/ go for a dog walk and took it from there. Another woman I tried with came once but it fizzled out quickly (probably once she saw the state of my house!).

My BFF was surrounded by new friends she'd met (different town to me) and I was keen to follow her example and find some new friends of my own.

Invite invite as everyone has said. What I would also say is don't narrow the field too early. 7 months is still quite soon post birth and at that point I personally had it all wrong about which people were going to turn out to be firm friends.

Start with cafés and outings that you like. I knew someone for years at coffee mornings then went out with her to a park and realised she was extremely over protective and risk averse, not my type at all.

Invite them! I made some fantastic friends at a baby group and went on to invite them round etc. the three of us were inseparable until dc were 1...... When they all went back to work and I didn't :(
So had to start again, dd is now 18mo and I've got one very close new friend (see each other 6 days a week! At toddlers and each other's homes etc) and a few I see regularly..

Dive in, the worst situations is that they say no- in which case move on and try again! Or you become close then seperate....... Move on and try again!

I love my 'baby friends!'