Apparently I just need to relax....when my daughter runs into a road....

[LittleMissRayofHope]

So were on holiday, by the beach and the weather isn't awesome so when we woke up this morning and it was sunny we said 'beach while we can!' I proceeded to get myself and 2 yr old DD all ready and pack up all stuff we need while he did nothing then say on the toilet for 25 minutes. Finally we get out the door and DD is excited and runs straight past our car into the road. He just stands watching her. I ran after her - 6 months preg with severe PGP - and told her off and led her back to the car. We all get in and head to the beach. But he's gone all quiet and sullen now. So I ask what's wrong and he's fine. Ask again and he waits til were entering the car park and starts telling me that I'm miserable and 'were on holiday yet you always find something to be stressed about. You don't want to be happy. You don't want to relax'
I had to ask 3 times what had made him think that before he told me it was cos I had told her off for running I to the road. Apparently I should relax as we are on holiday. There weren't any cars coming and it isn't a real road as it is on a campsite.

I am genuinely gob smacked and have been in tears for a while and even though I've managed to control my tears I still can't relax now. He has since made it clear that he is perfectly justified in what he said and the miserable way he said it by telling me to cheer up so we can all have a good time and that I was wrong for telling her off for the previously stated reasons...

I know I haven't in any way been unreasonable and that he is behaving like a giant bell end but I'm so frustrated. I feel he should apologise. But there's no chance if that.

Basically he blows her routines and eating habits and everything for this week in the name of 'relaxing' and cos I want to keep her a) alive, b) healthy c) well behaved I'm not relaxing.....

Is this something new or are you often subjected to petty criticism and sulking behaviour?

I think most sane people would behave the way you did. Campsite or not, your brain says "ROAD" and you run to get the child. And what if it wasn't a campsite? She doesn't know it is. She might do the same next time she is excited about going to the park at home. Learning basic road safety is as essential as safety around water. "Relax" my arse. Your DH needs to fuck off a bit.

I think it sounds like your DH is a lazy arse, and he is justifying this to himself by labelling you "stressy, nagging martyr". Not fair, and rather unpleasant.

Being on holiday does not mean that common-sense and all routine goes out the window, especially with little ones. And he's made you cry on your holiday for just being a responsible parent. He's an arse.

I think your DH needs to get his thumb out of his arse, and DO some parenting so that you CAN relax!

Let him organise everything for the beach, go for a walk and don't pack the day's stuff for the beach. That's his job now. Lay it out to him, dress it up about his comment.
"Yes, you are right, I'm not relaxed as I feel I'm doing all the work, perhaps you can do the packing and carrying, as I'm carrying the baby and feel like im doing my part for the family.
Perhaps you could also co parent our DD as well, as being a dad doesn't mean being an onlooker, but an active participant in her life, and teaching her about road safety is part of that!"

I hope he's doing all the breakfasts, so you get a rest, and at least half the dinners.

Have a great holiday, but make sure YOU do have a holiday!

Also if he stays on the toilet for 25 minutes his bum will fall out. My mum told me that.

Lois that did make laugh. The toilet thing is a long standing source of irritation that I try to get past as it's his habit and in theory there's nothing wrong with it except deciding to go 10 mins before we are due to go out and therefore making us late.

Thanks for replies and validation! I did try to explain that breaking rules and throwing everything out of the window to a 2 year old is not ok cos they don't understand that it's ok this week and will result in weeks of work for me once we are home to implement those rules again.
The road thing has particularly pissed me off cos in th car on the drive here I was boasting telling him how hard I had been working at road safety with her and how well she is doing. She stops at curbs happily and waits for me (she is on reigns of course) but she doesn't step off the curb anymore and I was so proud of her!

I've calmed down significantly now and got an unsolicited apology... It was a bit half arsed but at least it was offered IYSWIM... We do have very different parenting approaches. This one has just shaken me somewhat.