To feel so utterly alone...

[Mum4Fergus]

Split from DS dad on April, he moved out and is renting nearby so still sees DS. While he's been away we've gone from the sublime to the ridiculous...to being head over heels in love again til now going no contact. I know it's absolutely the right thing to do, for all 3 of us...but lord it hurts.

I've taken out new phone contract today and had a grand total of 11 people to tell the new number to...what's happened to my life?!

How about.... 'it has just started over'? I do understand how you can feel a bit lost having separated from your partner because, whatever happened, I'm sure he accounted for a lot of your free time. Leaves a gap and it'll take time and effort to fill that gap. Start small, be persistent, try new things, meet new people.... good luck!

Thanks Cog...I'm not helped tonight by fact DS is with x for a sleepover :( miss ma boy...

But I don't miss the silences, the moans, the drinking, the eggshell walking...so I know it's the right thing to do-just doesn't feel like it right now

If all of those eleven are people you have a close connection with then you are richer than you know.

You've got 6 or 7 more than I had!

It's a (corny) fresh start, new chapter, and all that. Tits and teeth, girl Chin up, shoulders back .... Fake it til you make it, because you will

That's so true, fake it til you make it cos you will.

I agree with cogito. Your whole life has just started over!

When you're not pandering to a moaner, when you're not focused on maintaining a charade and a facade and when all your energies aren't used up walking on eggshells, your focus will turn outwards and in time, you will attract more relationships in your life. It might just be that you chat more to acquaintances because there's nobody looking over your shoulder, but it will fall in to place. Go easy on yourself.

I'm only focused on the challenge of being a single parent at the moment...I've no support nearby but thankfully have breakfast/after school club which will allow me to continue working.

X is already online and looking to date again...can't see me ever being in that place again...

When i recently changed my phone number i had a total of 3 people to text to tell them. 11 is pretty good going!

You are starting over again, it will take time, but things will get better x

Things take time, and starting over is never easy. Take each day as it comes and say positive affirmations every morning. Believe in yourself. This is exciting and like a new chapter. When my exDP finished with me and I decided to go through with the pregnancy alone my DM said 'Sometimes you have to take a gamble to make your fortune', its so true. Try to re-ignite your relationship with those 11 and remember you have done the best thing for your DS. Oh and if it makes you feel better since going on MAT leave a grand total of 5 people have text me in the last week (including my mum and dad) and 1 has emailed! I'm so popular!

Hey OP, it is a new start, fresh and it will take time to fill those gaps and build a new life. But I've gotta say, I've read a few posts on MN tonight from people who are just trapped in desperate, unhappy situations WITH a person they despise/who despises them... When I was busy splitting up and then a bit lonely afterwards, wondering how to improve my life, it did help me to think about those who are in worse situations. It gave me the strength and reassurance that I'd done the right thing and that I just needed to keep making little inroads with people, hobbies, etc. Filling the odd hour here or there, then my kid-free weekends and slowly you build your life and value your time. And by the way, 11 ain't bad!

Perhaps you're not ready for internet dating, but also did you know that there's 'dating', well it's not dating exactly, but sites for platonic friends to meet and sites for people with certain hobbies, like if you're a cyclist, or hiker, or whatever... Even being on MN can help you feel a bit less alone, it's certainly helped me with some of my problems. Hugs.

When it comes to friendships, go for quality over quantity.

It's early days. Women often drift away from friendships when in a relationship. When you're single it's a good time to reinvest in these relationships.

As a new mum you have opportunities to make new friends with other new mums- there are loads of baby groups.

You aren't the first woman to feel alone after being left holding the baby. You are much better off than those stuck in bad relationships. It is just hard to see that right now.

Mn is good for lonely moments.