I am divorcing my husband for domestic and sexual violence. Although I haven't pressed charges, after the most recent attack I went to The Haven and submitted to an examination by a forensic examiner. They took statements and the evidence - of which there was plenty - which was stored in case I do decide to press charges later. As a result of the injuries I sustained during the most recent, and only documented, attack Social services became involved, frightened of what they might impose on him my husband agreed to move out. I went to a lawyer who advised mediation. My husband is very keen on mediation, he loves to see me squirm. The Mediator (a man, quite elderly, former barrister calls himself a "family man" but then, so does my husband!, went throuigh the check list, "domestic violence?" "yes", "describe" I did "ugh, stop" he said, made copious notes on the back of the check in form, and then proceeded to tell me that women like me in my area of SW London didn't realise how lucky we were, if I wanted a divorce I had to lower my expectations, my daughter needn't be brought up like a polo playing princess and just because I have been privately educated doesn't mean children should be.... "I have NEVER been privately educated" I replied, and "my daughter has never played polo, my children are in or are heading towards state schools already" "I think I know my market" he said. He then told me I would have to sell the house, and asked what work I could do - as with many controlling husbands my husband has made it difficult, and at times impossible for me to work. The most recent attack was, I don't believe by coincidence, two days before a job interview. I want to work, but at 49 don't stand much chance of accumulating much of a pension, and my husband and his family coerced me into selling my nest egg, a flat I had bought before I met the "family man" the rent of which was my only independent income. I sound tough but this man reduced me to tears, got me to sign the Check in document "hurry up now, your husband is waiting outside" I couldn't face looking over the documents until 3 days later, and then I noticed he had ticked the "No" box on "domestic violence" When I emailed to query this he said "I would have thought the word "no" was self explanatory" He had noted on the back my description of the violence, and had clearly judged my statements to be untrue... I have asked for a copy of the complaints procedure, he is the complaints procedure. I, for onem, have no confidence in the value of mediation for any woman who is economically dependent on her husband. And it is absolutely not possible in any relationship where there is any form of coercion, control or abuse.