Too good to be true - what's the catch?

[Wantajackrussell]

Online dating question (am new to this so would appreciate advice).

I am 57 and I suppose am not too bad for my age - slightly overweight, usual lumps and bumps from having two children and things generally slipping south as time goes by. I did post some reasonable snaps to my profile which I hope weren't too misleading (2 pics were very recent).

I am on Plenty of Fish as its a free dating website and have been contacted by a 47 year old man who is very good looking and slim. Really can't understand it ... lots of women much younger than me on the site - is he a player? His private message was simply "yum x" - should I respond or not - scary!!! If I respond what should I say?

Personally, I'd reject based on that shitty message.
I see that as a clear test the water for quick shag message. But if that's what you want, that would be fine!

The message wouldn't inspire me to reply. What is his profile like? He may be lying about his age. Its common enough on OD.

Why not talk to him and see?

Omg, POF is full of twats. I mean how articulate is that? I wouldn't respond. It's not even a sentence fgs. Grrr.

Yuk! He has shown he is not interested in you, but would happily have sex with you.

But you maybe ok with that just be sure you go in eyes wide open.

No, I wouldn't respond to that. It's a stupid message, and the guy has sent it for his own reasons - which don't sound worth finding out...

As above.

You really need to re-calibrate your standards if you think that is too good to be true!

I started online dating a few months ago, Wanta and I think it takes a while to understand 'the rules' if you're new to it all. I agree with everyone else - short messages like 'Hi sexy' or 'yum' are probably the work of someone who hasn't read your profile and is contacting loads of women to see who will take the bait. Wait until someone who can be arsed reading what your interests are and responding properly gets in touch (or respond to those you like the look of). Good luck - it's a minefield but obviously there are some genuinely nice guys on there! x

If you are serious about online dating you probably should go on one of the sites you have to pay for. Yes, it costs a bit, but the registration fee weeds out some of the people who just want to mess around. I certainly wouldn't reply to the message you got!

I'm a similar age to you and on POF. As others have said it takes a while to understand the way OD works. This guy is after sex - don't contact.

My way of dealing with the site is to hide my profile and contact only men I'm interested in - ie send 30 messages to men who seem suitable aged 50 to 60, suitable height etc. They all get the same cheery message of about 6 lines.

Less than half message back and I weed them out from there. Ask about what brings them to OD, how they spend their time etc. You may get one date from this, but its likely to be with someone nice.

The alternative is to let every man and his dog contact you which will mostly be tossers unfortunately. There are decent men on POF, but you need a system to find them - mine works.

Good luck, and get over to the Dating Thread for support and guidance.

I wouldn't reply to that.

That's the sort of message I would delete without even looking at the man who'd sent it.

It's not too good to be true. It's someone whose casting his net far and wide and not making any effort in the process because he knows that somewhere, there will be someone with low enough self esteem to take the bait and he won't have to offer any more than he has done already.

I was on Match and only chatted with men I'd contacted first or ones who'd clearly read my profile.