does any one else get upset and down without sex

[busygardener]

I find myself despite trying not to, getting upset and down when it's been a week without sex with my DH. I start thinking there's something wrong with me, as he gone off me? I always talk to him about it and he says nothing is wrong. I just wondered if anyone else feels this way after just a short time without sex?

Nope sorry I don't. I would feel that way if I went the entire time without any form of affection (no kisses or cuddles or "I love you").

Is there something else going on in your relationship?

I'm going through something similar as in I'm pregnsnt and no sex but honestly wouldn't get that upset if it had

Sorry posted to soon!

It had only been a week! More than sex it's the total lack of affection no kisses/cuddles etc that are getting to me!

No, I just don't know what it is or why I feel like this? I get kisses and told I love you everyday. I just want to be made love to.

Is it the same when you're single busy, or in previous relationships?

Do you initiate sex and if so, what happens?

I try not to get upset but I do find it frustrating that my sex drive is higher than my dp's. No helpful suggestions but interested to see if anyone else has any

I love my DH so much, I can't help wanting to get passionate with him but when he doesn't want to back I take it so bad even though I try not to.

Do you want him to reassure you by having sex?

I initiate it maybe 9 times out of 10 and get knocked back about 7 of those times.

Has it always been like this?

I mean apart from the two months when you first meet...

I think I do chock

Sounds as if he has a different sex drive to yours.

Assuming you have sex on average once or twice a week, you suggest sex most days? Is that accurate? If I were him, I'd be feeling a bit pressured.

Yes it's always been like this my DH as always been this way and every time we go for a week or longer I get very down and upset, why do I do this? He as started to get very annoyed at me saying why do I think something is wrong because we haven't had sex? I have thought about going to my GP.

Yes yes yes!!!!

This is me. Don't know why, sometimes it takes me a while to work out that it's been a while and that's why! I'd say we are in the exact same position too

The trouble is, when one partner wants a lot more sex than the other one, they can get stuck in a vicious cycle of A constantly whining and pestering for sex and B getting less and less keen on the idea. Desperation is repulsive. Being under pressure is a major turn off.

Busygardener: if you are feeling very insecure and keep wanting your H to reassure you by having sex with you, you might be better off seeing a counsellor and working on your self esteem. Insecure people are quite hard work, and sorting out their issues is beneficial for them in the long run, as well as for partners.

I think a lot of women, when growing up (especially without brothers), basically get told that men are insatiable sex beasts that will sleep with anything with ovaries if given half the chance. Even when we grow up and realise that it's not as black and white as that, there is still this underlying belief that men always want sex.

So if you are in a relationship with someone, it's easy to equate "this person finds me attractive = this person wants sex with me", so if they don't want sex, then it must be because they aren't attracted to you any more.

I think you just need to talk to your partner about it one day when you aren't feeling upset, or confused or whatever. When you are just calm. You can explain to him "I always thought this, which is why I get upset when it seems like you aren't physically interested in me, as I equate it to dis interest." and see what he has to say.

It might take a few conversations about it, but hopefully you will realise that....men are human! In ltr especially it just isn't feasible to be rutting every night of the week. Sometimes you're tired, sometimes in a bad mood, sometimes you don't feel great for some reason, or sometimes you just want to feel close in a different way. It's a horrible feeling to feel like you are obligated to have sex with your partner 4-5 times a week just to appease their own sense of self worth. It's a very selfish attitude. A week isn't a long time when you are living together.

You might want to try looking at how your partner treats you outside the bedroom. If he is loving and affectionate, then just stop harassing him. Once you relax, he will probably feel under much less pressure. Let him initiate sex a few times. It might take a while (he will probably he relieved he finally gets a break) but after a couple of weeks you should start finding a cycle that works for you both.

The only problem could be if you both have completely different sex drives, even with the pressure on him taken away. If you still want five times a week and he wants once every three months then you might have an insurmountable problem.

I do. I get really upset because I think the same as you. Am I not attractive? has he gone off me? and it's not that - it's just we don't live together and since we're both working weird hours we don't have the time. he's very affectionate, very lovely. but when we don't have sex for a week, I feel like I have miraculously become disgusting to him.