This just happened and I don't know what to do

[SneakyNuts]

DP and I just had an argument whilst laying in bed

I was laying on my stomach whilst saying something (probably nasty)

He grabbed me and leant on top of me whilst talking through gritted teeth. I froze for a couple of seconds until he let go

My anxiety got the better of me and I had a panic attack, he said sorry and is sleeping in another room but now I don't know what to do

Yes he did apologise to my face, I didn't react

Tell him to take you home.

Once you are at home you can have a proper think about what you want to do next. You can't do it there feeling trapped. Your priority now is to get home.

I live here

Woke up to breakfast and flowers on the bed
He apologised again and is giving me some space, I think he really is very sorry. I haven't spoken to him.

Yes this is the pattern. Very common for abusive partners to go into overdrive with the 'nice' act when they first start being physically abusive. They need you to think it was all a big mistake because 'look how nice i am' rather than it actually being who he is.

You love him, most abused women love their abusers. Thats how the abusers keep them in the relationship- they play on that love. However, that love didnt keep you safe from abuse last night and it wont keep you safe next time. Nor will it keep your child safe. There are many things more important than love- living without fear is one of them. Not only do you deserve that but your child does. Please keep yourselves safe. You need to leave. He is just starting out. It will get worse if you stay.

Where are your family? Any friends/colleages nearby?

Where is he now?

Gather up all your documents, passports, birth certificates, bank cards, anything important, pack a bag for you and yor child and call a friend/relative to come and get you. You can sort the logistics and long term arrangements once you are out.

Where is your DC sneakynuts ?
Does your child love there too?
If you have friends or family just leave and don't look back.
You are so lucky you have no DC with him. You will always regret staying with him. You should leave because in a week from now this will have been minimised.
Good luck.

Sorry live there...

Just a year together and already this kind of treatment is creeping in?

LEAVE.

You have a child to think about as well as yourself.

Yes, everything else is great. Yes, you love him. NO. It's only been a year. YOU ARE NOT INVESTED HERE. DON'T ignore this because you want it to be something it isn't. Don't make that mistake.

This is your early wake-up call. Every abusive relationship has one - the first time he shows what he actually is capable of, what he's actually like inside.

But because it's the first time, it seems so out of character, everything else is good - nine times out of ten a partner will try their best to dismiss it. Later, it will be 'the signs were there, but I just didn't believe it...'

This isn't 'out of character'. Someone you have been intimate with for a year is still SHOWING you their character. What has happened here is you getting a glimpse further into his character.

LEAVE.

If you now feel worried about speaking your mind in future, then leave. It is no way to live your life.

I'm not sure where this has come from

Does it really matter where it comes from? The point is that it happened. And now you know what he is capable of.

He has in that brief moment "told you who he is"... listen to that.