Separation and child care

[Workitbabe]

Hi people. ExH and I separated last year and he finally moved out last month. We have 2 dd's. The current arrangement is that he has them Monday, Friday and Sunday nights, with me having them the rest of the week. So, I pick them up from his Saturday tea time and return them Sunday tea time. So basically it cuts the weekend in two. It also varies at times depending on his work schedule but also like today he was going to London so I had to collect them at 10.30.

My thinking is that really we should alternate the weekends as it seems really bitty and in the short space of time we have lived apart, the routine has been disrupted a few times.

How does everyone else operate?

We've tried various arrangements. Used to do half the week each home. Now we do weeks about (at my DS suggestion and request).

Blocks of time works better than isolated days IME

Thank you. Its difficult as ex often works abroad Tues, Weds and Thurs hence he has them the days he does, but I just find this breaking the weekend up a bit rubbish.

Think we need to see how it pans out.

It's hard when you can't get a regular routine set up. My ex works shifts so it's all over the place. We've built up over time them staying for longer periods so was only overnight then up to 2 nights and now 2 nights and 3 whole days. Going to three nights soon but this isn't every week or in a pattern as done around his job. But I plan two months ahead on a calendar so we can both see when we have our dds. Also then by doing it on a calendar you can visually see how weekends are falling etc. we've done it like this since November and so far works ok. Makes the best of a crappy situation.

I'm separated, but I'm the one who works abroad. We're very flexible in arrangements, check week to week what suits.

I would suggest you assume he's always away Tue-Thu and do:
You: Tue-Thu
Him: Fri-Mon
You: Tue-Sun
Him: Mon

So he is every Mon, and every other Fri-Sun.