Is there any way to donate eggs and then have contact with the child that might be born?

[wonderingwanderer]

Not sure I've posted this in the right place....

Essentially, I have a health condition that would make day-in day-out parenting very difficult if not impossible. I have a very small family and when my parents die I will be left with no close relatives at all. I would very much like children but can't see how I could make it work. So I just wondered if anyone knew of a any options that might work? I don't have any friends that need a donor egg or anything at the moment so there are no obvious solutions.

There was a thread about donating eggs not that long ago. I'm not entirely sure but I know since 2005 every child born from a donor egg will have your information available to them once they hit 18 or something along them lines. I'm not sure if you can still stay in contact it would be worth a search via internet.

I am not sure but I would imagine that it would be down to the parents in receipt of the donor egg.

I don't think many people would want contact tbh unless they were a close friend or family member.

What kind of contact would you want?

This is a tricky one, OP. It's a shame but I don't think what you're suggesting would be allowed, as it wouldn't be considered in the best interests of the child. The guidelines given currently are that an egg donor should be anonymous, but their details should be available to the child once they've turned a certain age. To be honest, I'd be surprised if the parents of a child created through egg donation would be happy for a lot of contact anyway. It's a bit different with something like surrogacy, where a surrogate mum sometimes stays in touch, because they usually have children of their own and aren't interested in that parenting role.

I'm thinking hard but can't come up with any solutions - either you donate an egg and someone else parents the child, or you find a way to make parenting work. The only other thing that occurs to me is a mentoring scheme - but in that case, you'd be giving a lot without getting 'family' back. Still, it can be very rewarding. www.do-it.org.uk/articles/types-of-volunteering/children/mentoring-children/

You want a biological child but you can't parent it but you would want to be involved. Unless you found a rich gay couple who could pay for harvesting, surrogacy and would be ok with you being peripherally involved I don't think you will have much luck.
I'm wondering what need you are hoping to meet here. If you want to be involved with a child's life but not raise it there are other children who would benefit rather than a specially created biological offspring. Local authorities often recruit mentors for children in care and these are expected to be long term commitments - could you look into that?

Hmm your idea doesn't sound to be in any child's best interest.

Hard to give any suggestions without understanding what limitations you have. Could you foster? Mentor? Volunteer in some capacity with children? I don't intend on having biological children but love kids so I volunteer with them a few hours a week. Fortunately I have a nephew and neice also. It fills that space whilst enriching (rather than confusing) their lives.

Really, though, if you're just worried about being alone- get involved in any local community activity and widen your social circle?

Get a dog? I know that sounds flippant but they really do bring a lot to life are easier than kids (mostly) and there are lots of ways in which they can help you get to know new people. Going to fun shows, volunteering with rescue groups, dog training classes, etc.

As you may be able to tell, what I lack in children I make up for in canines. I'm biased and possibly delusional as to their benefits!

" I have a very small family and when my parents die I will be left with no close relatives at all"

It would be up to the child whether they considered the woman who donated her eggs, or gave birth to him/her, "a close relative".

I say that as someone who works with and has a Fostered child, in my family.

The child would be able to access your details, as an adult, but they may just want factual information and you still wouldn't have any other close relatives.

Are there any counselling services you can access?

I think this could be fraught with difficulties. What if the couple made parenting decisions you disagreed with?

that is a seriously shit reason to bring a child into the world

To be fair I think most people who have children do it because they want a family... nothing wrong with recognising that personal circumstances mean that parenting wouldn't be feasible. Many many children in care whose parents were not so realistic!
Unfortunately I think unless you were able to enter a co-parenting relationship (e.g. with a single man who wishes to be a father or a gay male couple) its unlikely that egg donation would lead to a significant role in a child's life.

Sorry to be blunt but if I personally was conceived by donor egg, as long as I had a good relationship with the woman who gave birth to me and parented me I doubt I would be interested in a relationship with the donor. I'm sure I would like to meet the donor but it wouldn't be a mother/daughter relationship. Why do you feel you can't parent a child? Could you use a sperm donor if you are single?

I think gay couple (probably male?) is better option for whay you are looking for

Just thinking further about this, OP. I have seen surrogacy sites where gay dads are looking to 'co-parent' with single mum/lesbian couple. Personally, I'm not sure it's a good idea. But it would be perfect for you.