How to move on

[isntthatapippip]

I need some advice on how to stop resenting my almost xh (hopefully will divorce soon)

We separated two years ago when our son was 8 months as he was treating me horribly. He continued to be awful to me for a long time after this but now he is much better and an amazing dad on the days he sees our ds.

I have so much resentment towards him from when our son was young that I cannot let go of. I also resent how much time he gets to himself so when he is with ds he is full of energy and super-fun. Ds has way more fun on daddy days than mummy days. He doesn't have to do any of the boring things like doctors appts, drop offs at nursery so ds loves every minute with him, me not so much.

I always find something to snap at him about when he comes round and ds is caught in the middle, which I don't want but i always do it.

Any advice please?

As you say, he can be Disney Dad because he's not there with his child 24/7 like you have to be.

The surest way to move on and shed the resentment is to build a better and happier life for yourself without him in it. If that means not having to see him face-to-face, so be it. You can and are entitled to not have him come round, you could arrange for someone else to take him to his father if that's what you want. You are in control here, and not him.

I also struggle with my stbxh seeming like super dad when he only sees ds for a fraction of the time. I can only do the best I can and hope ds will realise for himself how much I love him and how much his dad missed out on. Prob not very helpful, but you're not alone.