How am I supposed to facilitate this?

[PPaka]

I need to detach from ex. I need to get out from Under his controlling manipulative ways. I'm trying, and doing ok.
But he needs to speak to ds
But really I think he's having a hard time because he's not talking to me, cos I'm not responding to non ds related texts etc.
and I don't engage with him. He's a lying, cheating vile person.
He phones when we are on school journey in the car, but ds doesn't really like talking on the phone, or he can't hear him, or doesn't understand or messes around. He hasn't really got much to say, I do a lot of prompting

This is never going to get better, I'm so upset

His attitude is, if I don't care about him and ds doesn't care that much about talking to him, then what's the point?

Do you mean he phones you or phones DS? How old is DS? Is he old enough to have his own mobile, even if it is a crappy cheap one?

That way he can call DS and you don't have to be involved at all.

You don't have to prompt just stop it.

Does he see DS regularly or is this the only contact they have?

He just sees him at the weekend
Ds is 6
If I didn't prompt him I don't think he'd speak
He phones home phone if we're at home and I'll just get ds to pick it up, but hell phone my phone if we're out

I bet your 6 year old could easily use a mobile. Just get a cheap PAYG and problem solved

You can keep it in your bag and just hand it to DS if it rings. If he calls your mobile just don't answer it.

If DS does't speak then so what? It sounds like you have been made to feel that you are responsible for the success or failure of DS relationship with his father. Other than ensuring DS is available for access and not bad mouthing his father to him, the rest is not really anything to do with you.

It's a boundary issue. You need to recognise where your responsibility ends.

Ppaka, Just don't answer the phone when you are in the car or out of the house.
You could put it on silent so the ringing tone doesn't stress you out whilst driving.

Best wishes to you.

I agree if he's seeing his Dad regularly a stilted phone call in the car is not going to make much difference so I'd quietly let it slide - put your phone on silent when in car for safety reasons, etc

Obviously make sure DS knows he can call his Dad if he wants to.

I'm not convinced that his own mobile phone will solve any problems.
This is more about his relationship with his father
How often is it reasonable to talk to him
And he's really not fussed about talking to him.

If he doesn't see him all week, should he be able to talk to him every day on the phone

I will have to talk to him to discuss improving his relationship with his son

It's so hard , I'm so miserable about this whole situation
I can't see how I can do it for the rest of our lives

Maybe he should think about all the times he's chosen other things over ds