Am I just a little sleep deprived or is this unfair???

[yellowrose2728]

Please be honest, I can take a flaming if deserved

I'll try to be brief.... I have 3dc ranging from 11yo - 4months, plus a 5yo dsd who is with us 50/50. I do all of the cleaning, cooking and 90% of the pick ups (to and from school/childminders) make lunches, get all ready for school. Do the washing for all of us, dry and put away. All of this whilst entertaining a 4 month old who likes A LOT of attention!!

So, forward tonight and just before we head to bed, dp says, "can you make the bed every morning - there's nothing like getting into a freshly made bed of an evening..."

I just walked away muttering about how some people are ungrateful etc... But he seems to think I'm being completely unreasonable and that it isn't much to ask!

Am I being a slattern all of a sudden and thinking that making a fucking bed is the least of my worries?!

Please be honest so I can suck up my pride and apologise if I am....

What? Strip the bed and put fresh bed linen on daily or pull up the duvet and chuck some cushions on same linen as yesterday?

As in making it... Fresh sheets, all pulled up, pillows plumped etc

hahahahhahaha!

Personally, if I was you & I was doing as much as you say you are, I'd not be best pleased! Although, I wouldn't allow it to cause a major issue or argument. I would however explain to him why it made me a bit p*ed off initially.

Everyone loves the feel of clean sheets & freshly made bed but sometimes, in real life, it's just one too many things to add to an ever growing list of chores. If he likes it so much, perhaps suggest he makes the bed as you too like to get into a uncrumpled mess after a hectic day!

I don't want to get into another argument, just feeling taken for granted a little.

I should tell him that if HE wants to get into a fresh bed every night, I will leave the bedding out for him

Say Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!

He can ram his fresh sheets up his fooking arse! It is pretty obvious you do everything!! Your not a maid!

If he wants fresh sheets he can do it himself.

Don't forget to starch it all before leaving it out for him!

Tell him if he moves into a hotel room he can have fresh sheets every day!

He won't get them in an hotel every day either. He'd have to change rooms every day! Slattern my arse!

Ohhhh I'm so glad it's not just me!

Tomorrow I'll leave clean bedding in the room and tell him to crack on

Wake him up at 5am and ask him to change them now cos you don't want to be looking at an unmade bed all day! I am going to my bed to slumber on my 5 day old filthy bed linen now with a massive grin on my face. Thank you OP! I shall sleep like a baby!

Has he taken a knock to the head? Why would anyone think that is a reasonable request?

If he likes to get into a freshly made bed every night then the obvious solution is to make his own bed every morning
Pretty simple. Not sure why he felt the need to share this information with you. Why does he think it's your responsibility? You're not a cleaning lady!

I agree with the addition of starch. Should make it a little easier to shove it up his arse!

What about the huge amount of water and energy needed to clean the sheets every day?

I think you need to go sick on Sunday and leave him to do everything including lunches nd uniform for the next day. Then tell him you've made the sheets sweaty and horrible so can he put some fresh ones in while you have a shower?

Yes to him making the bed! My dh knows that's exactly the answer he would get if he made a stupid comment like that regardless of what else you do around the house!!!

I wouldn't change the sheets every day even if I had a servant to do it for me - it would be terrible for the environment.

I would feel cross too! Perhaps he doesn't understand / consider much you do. Can you have a me-day and go out with friends or go to a spa and leave him to deal with the kids and housework for a day? I'd be tempted to do that and leave a list of all the jobs you do each day for him to do before you get home.

God almighty - is he under the impression you are running a hotel?
Yy to telling him where the sheets ate and letting him crack on.

I hope you provide a full English breakfast every day too...

So who is going to wash, dry,iron,fold and put away this 7 loads of bedding every week?

The only (mumsnet) response to that would be "ha ha ha ha ha! Are you on glue?"

No, you are not being unreasonable at all! I think you can probably get away with a pointed comment such as "I am NOT running a goddamn hotel", and then take the piss out of him for a while (in a joking way) asking him to do completely unreasonable things.

Like if you live in the country side "hey darling, would you mind going out and hunting an animal every day after work for me to cook for dinner? There's nothing like the feeling of fresh, organic game".

Or "hey darling, can you mow the lawn every day before you go to work? There's nothing like the smell of freshly cut grass!"

Bingo! We've had the 'go to a spa' comment that always pops up on these threads

My grandmother, who got married in the 1920s refused to make a bed throughout her entire married life. When she was 82 she told me that when she first got married the first week she got up early every morning to make my grandfather his breakfast and made the bed with fresh clean sheets. After the first week she noticed that he hadn't said thank you once so for the rest of her life she handed him the sheets and told him it was his job. This was back in 1920s when basically it was seen as a woman's job. Apparently never ironed shirts either because she didn't like ironing