Ex's partner keeps following me for no reason

[Joy5]

I've been separated almost 3 years, ex had another woman. Am also in the family courts next month for the Full Hearing.

Have called in a my local shops today, and had my ex's partner stood laughing at me, she stood in the car park to make sure i saw her as i pulled away, i had to drive around her. I made no response whatsoever. If she'd seen me and gone into the shops i wouldn't even have known she was there.

I came home and was in the kitchen for a bit, then i went in my front room and she was parked outside my home. I live on a very long road, if she wanted to go somewhere it was out of her way to come to my house.

Is there anything i can do to stop her? Its happening more and more. I'm over my ex, got a new life, but i don't want to be reminded about him or his new partner. I have no contact with either of them.

Police? Would it be considered harassment?

Perhaps carry a camera around and very ostentatiously take a photo of her whenever you see her standing laughing/sitting in her car in your road/standing outside your house/whatever. If that doesn't stop her, then you have pictorial evidence to take to the police.

That's a great idea, Walkacross. I agree, it could well be considered harassment. She sounds thoroughly unpleasant, sorry you're being subjected to this, Joy.

I presume it's to try and get to you prior to the Full Hearing. Hope she doesn't succeed, and that you get the best possible result.

I would note every incident in a notebook and ignore her. She sounds deranged so best not to confront her. Go to the police if necessary.

I would start taking pictures and build a case. Some people are attracted to family tragedy drama and she sounds like she likes to get in there and stoke the fires. Nothing you can do, other than build a case and carry on ignoring her.

This is def harrassment. Agree with others about noting incidents etc
and maybe after a week if she is still doing it call the police.

Sounds like she trying to intimidate you due to imminent court hearing.
Call the police and yes log everything/take pictures.

My ex was following me. I had notes
Of every time he was there. Things he said etc etc. the police went round asked him not to

He continued to do it.... They had
More words

He still follows me. They can't do a thing about it

Kill her and then eat her!

If that is not an option, inform the police. Perhaps you could say you are in fear of being harmed? I like the idea of taking her photo. If she parks in front of your house again call the police and report it as a suspicious person casing the joint(?)

All joking aside it must make you feel very uncomfortable. If you want any recipes, pm me.

Well. I think for something to count as harassment, you have to have asked them to stop.

So here's an approach you could try, depending on what kind of a person your ex is, whether you have his number, whether you think it will possibly work... Only you know the situation, iyswim, and whether this is a good or terrible idea:

'Hi Ex it's Joy5. I'm contacting you to formally request that 'loonygf' stops following me, especially driving to the house and sitting outside. I don't like having to contact you in this way but that's the advice I've been given. It's also clear that no matter what is going so terribly wrong for 'loonygf', her wanting to be around me so desperately can't be helping, she looks so awful and upset. The last episode, she seemed to be trying to laugh but actually looked in hysterics. I'm very sorry that it would very likely be unhelpful to you so near the court date, but if you can't persuade her to stop (maybe take her to the GP?) then I'll be able to report harassment. Best wishes Joy5.'

This would create the opposite of the effect she's aiming for - you see her as not well, poor thing - you're not intimidated, you're sorry for her (infuriating!) you insinuate that she is fixated with you (even more infuriating for her), you collude with her bf 'maybe take her to the GP?' , you also hint at having 'advice' already (they don't need to know it's from here!), you nicely twist the 'laughing' thing and get in a dig about her looking stressed and upset - hard to know how you look from a few feet away in a car, so this will throw her.

All in all you will wind her up TOTALLY. And I bet if would be the last you see of her.

Eat her! That made me smile, especially as i'm vegetarian lol

I have asked already in writing, so decided too one last time and taking Bruno's advice, the more i think about it, laughing outside your partner's old family home all on your own with the ex-wife inside taking no notice, she really does need some sort of help. So i've suggested she obtains it, rather then harass me.

Seeing as her partner has lied through his teeth in his court papers, and failed to provide evidence of any of it, its no wonder shes in such a state doing totally unrationale things.

Maybe it will finally dawn on her, shes got the 'booby' prize. My ex may have a fantastic salary, bur really don't think money is worth a lying, cheating man who has taken his own family to court to get out of paying maintenance.

Thanks for all the replies, was really down yesterday, feel like i can't protect myself from my ex or his partner, fingers crossed this letter will stop her coming anywhere near my home.