Online dating

[Hillstreetreds]

Hi everyone, I wonder if I could have your views on this? I have recently discovered that my dp of a year has kept and is actively still using his online dating site (we met online). I am genuinely shocked and a little horrified tbh. I had no idea that this was going on as he obviously kept it a secret from me. However he very stupidly sent a colleague of mine a message online and she brought it to my attention.

When I confronted him( I didn't let him know I had a print out of the message he sent my colleague) he said he only had an account so he could see the potential dates his best mate was going on. I simply refuse to beleive that version.

I like to weigh up carefully all factors in my life before making a final decision (I rarely change my mind once Ihave made my decision and as yet I have never regretted one major decision in my life (I'm 37)

As things stand I will be ending our relationship at the weekend. In the meantime I would love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks

Only one thought: why wait till the weekend?

So sorry this has happened, OP, and well done on being so strong and not falling for his bullshit "explanation".

I think you are making the right decision. I think I would have to show him the print out though! Just to see his expression.

I was considering dipping a toe into the OLD but maybe I should just get another cat :(

Dump him. You wouldn't hesitate if you found him chatting up your mate in a pub when he was supposed to be somewhere else. OLD is no different.

Nothing wrong with it though. Met my hubby on there because, after 18 years in a relationship, he lacked the confidence to walk up to somebody in person. He also felt the kind of girls you meet in a pub were "a bit needy" (he was in his late 30s at the time).

I was much the same. Stuck at home with a child.

We hit it off from the first meeting, took things slowly, moved in together after 2.5 years, married after 4 years and i've never been happier.

Which site? Generally just looking is free, but to message you need to be paying a hefty sub.

Sounds like he's actively trying to meet other people, you must be gutted. What a waste of space!

Dump him IMHO. Even presented with the truth he is still in denial. Get back in the day I tried a few sites which were free to send messaged, Match however you had to pay to message

"Which site? Generally just looking is free, but to message you need to be paying a hefty sub"

Plenty of Fish (pof.com) is a very large site that is completely free unless you want advanced features. Or it was - i've not used it in 4 years but that is where hubby and I met.

Thanks for all your replies folks, it was Pof.

sweetermengarde........you're absolutely right!
myroomisatip..............meow.
jamie1981.........I totally agree, OLD is exactly like real life, you still have show respect for your partner. Plus you simply know they are definitely sneaking around and keeping things from you. Not for me.

Thanks for all your replies, I really do appreciate it reading other peoplest thoughts.

Get rid of the idiot. You can't fix stupid, which he obviously is for messaging your colleague.