Totally irrational and awful reaction to news

[twolittleboysonetiredmum]

Im not sure why I'm posting this really, I think just to try and figure things out? Before I type this, I realise what a hideous reaction it is and what an awful person I am, that's a given.
I've just found out my SIL is pregnant with her second child, four weeks or so so early days. And I am so pissed off about it. I'm really annoyed she's pregnant and sad it isn't me, and just argh. I can't be happy about it. I have two lovely children, youngest is only a year old just. I don't think we'll have more, something I'm trying to accept which may be part of my issue. We arent hugely close, she keeps us at arms length for no reason, her and my husband have just never been close. So maybe it's because I can't get excited about a baby we'll have little contact about? Either way, I need to get over it fast. Any tips? Anyone been in a similar situation?

Not quite the same, but SIL announced she was pregnant with twins just before we announced our first pregnancy. I remember feeling like a terrible person for not being able to be pleased for her and almost feeling like she had done it to annoy me on purpose! (Which is completely ridiculous of course)

I think it's quite normal to feel a little bit sad inside when you see others pregnant and know that you are not going to be able to experience that again yourself. No advice really but I don't think you are an awful person for thinking those things. Just try to act pleased for her even if you aren't.

My sister took me getting pregnant first (she'd been married and TTC longer) really badly, so much so that I wasn't "allowed" to talk about it at family gatherings etc in case she went off one. It really spoiled the early part of my pregnancy. Luckily she got pregnant a few months later. I dread to think how the whole charade would have persisted otherwise - it was a bit like "don't mention the war" in Fawlty Towers. Of course, her pregnancy was a required topic of conversation at family gatherings...

Off on one

You need to grieve for the fact you won't be having anymore.when your baby is your youngest age is a classic point to feel broody/sad if you are not having more- it's hormones surging through you.
not all people are close to sil or bils, I know it's weird if your family are but lots of people are acquaintances with their's. I love my sils but only see them and niece s/nephews a couple of times a year.

I don't understand what you're jealous of. You have 2 kids. Now she's having a second.
Perhaps if you can work out what you're actually jealous of, it'll be easier to work through it?

Thanks for the replies. As I said, it's totally irrational and I don't get it. I would never, ever make anyone aware of how I felt or ruin it for her. I have no doubt she probably felt similar when I had my second as she's wanted another baby for a while, and she was still lovely with me.
I think a huge part of it must be grieving for that part of my life being over, as it's still quite tough to accept. I think another is that I know the next baby will have loads of attention and love from my Mil whereas mine have been practically ignored. Especially my second as we had them very close together, so I was made to feel awful through my pregnancy by both sets of parents and they've not been that interested in ds2. I think also, if she has a girl, that will be the only girl and that's another thing they'll all fawn over. Whilst ignoring my lovely boys. So I guess there's lots to it that I just need to get over. Bloody emotions!

I totally see where you are coming from, my sil has just announced her pregnancy and I have really struggled with it and feel horrible especially as she has been trying for years. I think my problem is petty jealousy which I am not proud of but MIL and FIL have not stopped going on about it - oh SIL is doing so well etc, oh she needs to stop work (which she did at 20 weeks) and are offered all manner of help when my pregnancies (first v difficult) were barely commented on and they have given us no help or practical support in any way. I feel very hard done too and I need to snap out of it.

I had a miscarriage and then six months later my cousin got pregnant. When I found out I had a but if a mini meltdown (in private, only DP saw). Not my finest moment and DP says it was a side of me he really didn't like seeing.

But the thing is, it was totally irrational. I even knew it was at the time but I felt powerless over my reaction. It was so, so emotive.

As it turns out I got pregnant two months after that and now have a gorgeous DD. But even now I STILL get that envious pang whenever I hear someone's pregnant.

It's nuts but I think loads of women feel like this. The key is to never let on, because it's impossible to explain without coming across as a petty, jealous loon.