Cut a long story short, I left my EA, cheating arse of a husband last year and moved into my own house about 2 miles away from where he lives.
Initially we agreed that he would have them Friday to Sunday every other weekend. Although I wasn't too happy about it, he also wanted to have them for tea twice a week.
At that point he was in a different job and finished early on the days he was meant to have them for tea. He would usually give them tea as well. Right from the start he insisted that he pick them up from mine and I collect them. I went along with this to keep the peace but now I've had enough.
His job has now changed and he picks them up at around 6.15pm which is too late for them to eat but sometimes still insists on feeding them. He also refuses to do their homework with them which leaves limited time in amongst their activities for me to do it with them. He has a fully paid for company car so no travel expenses whereas I have my own car to maintain and earn a lot less than him. I pay for all their activities, run them around and do the school pickup and drop off everyday. It's starting to piss me off that on top of all this I'm still expected to assist with pointless weekday visitations.
I've told him that he has two options: to either drop his weekday evening visitations or do both the pickup and drop off. His answer to this is that we should share the burden as it was my choice to leave in response to his cheating and that he will either have them every weekend (not a chance) or reduce my maintenance (just fuck the fuck off you selfish twat). What he doesn't seem to appreciate is that I'm already shouldering more than half the burden of having children and I don't think this is fair. I can't afford the extra petrol for a start but also I'm tired and have other things to do. I don't feel like it's in their best interests to be dragged to his for 45 mins to an hour just so that he feels like he has 'seen' them. He also cancels on a whim and rings me demanding that I have them ready for his arrival.
AIBU to refuse him weekday access and also how do I stop him? How have other single parents managed to negotiate visitation so that everyone is happy?