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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

now trust is gone as well, is there anything left to save?

4 replies

whewjuice · 16/06/2014 16:35

Sorry if this is long but feel I'm at breaking point and don't know what to do. Me and DH been together only 4 years have a 6 month old. We had some issues before DD was born but towards the end of pregnancy and for a while after I felt happy with our little family but things have slipped back to how they were before but worse now. On Tuesday night I told him it was over I had enough. Early Wednesday morning his phone wouldn't stop going off and I'm ashamed to admit through my own paranoia I looked. While I felt devastated that it was over he had got in contact with someone he hasn't spoken to in years and was asking him to get a girl called Alli to add him on FB. The guy answered giving DH her email address but DH asked again for her to add him on FB. I came clean and asked DH why he had to talk to her while our marriage was falling apart. He said he didn't know, he wasn't interested in her he just didn't know why he thought of her. I kept thinking the worst until the next day he said she works for a recruitment agency and he thought she could get him a better job. I checked it out and she does work there but he couldn't explain why he lied and now I feel that on top of everything I now don't trust him. It's not what he lied about, just that he lied despite promising he never would. He wants us to work things out but I really don't know if I can get over it all as well as lying.

OP posts:
CailinDana · 16/06/2014 16:45

Ok, take a breath.

Apart from the issues with the texting, what are the other problems?

magoria · 16/06/2014 17:30

Do many recruitment agencies add people to facebook?

Wouldn't that be like a main agency page if they did not an individual one?

Or am I hopelessly out of date?

Amazing that it only took him 24 hours to think of that excuse. And it is an excuse or he would have told you straight away why he wanted her to add him.

whewjuice · 16/06/2014 17:48

Basically he wasn't showing me much affection or attention wasn't supporting me and has never really been into sex much leaving me feeling unwanted. We kept talking and he would promise things would change but it only ever seemed to be for a little while then things would go back. He never did any of the big gestures like a proper proposal it was just a very casual thing. All this meant my feelings changed and I didn't know if I loved him any more, I still don't know. Now he wants things to work out and change I don't know if it's too little too late for me to get those feelings back.

OP posts:
whewjuice · 16/06/2014 17:51

She was someone he used to be friends with. He said he didn't know what to say cos didn't think I'd believe the truth (I told him this was BS and made no sense)

OP posts:
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