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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

daughter in law .

24 replies

aprilanne · 14/06/2014 23:43

OK my son 23 has a partner 43 .the same age as myself .basically we have got on fine the last two years once i got over shock of age diffrence .
we went to concerts out for lunch .thought her pleasent ..well my son and her have been fighting recently .she has assaulted him 3 times in about a month .he has finally left .but there is the problem .she has been engaging in abuseive texts to me .telling me i should not let him stay with me and i am an interfering cow.i am sad that it did not work out .and she has a little daughter who i miss very much as does my son. i am at my wits end .
she is even going to my elderely father and giving him grief .she has text my boy and has admited that she should be back on her antidepressants .i am scared because she is nuts .

OP posts:

Mabelface · 14/06/2014 23:45

Talk to the police. It's harassment.

AnyoneForTennis · 14/06/2014 23:47

Nuts? Look, she's got issues but your ds could encourage her to go to her gp.

Maybe83 · 14/06/2014 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

passmethewineplease · 14/06/2014 23:51

Er I think if he has been assaulted by her he should steer clear really rather than going to a GP.

OP ignore the texts but keep them. Tell her anymore and you are going to the police.

AnyoneForTennis · 14/06/2014 23:52

To get her antidepressants??

LineRunner · 14/06/2014 23:53

She's not well and she has a small child. She might need to see a GP because of that?

Maybe83 · 14/06/2014 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

passmethewineplease · 14/06/2014 23:55

If she knows she should surely be seeking them again then?

I don't think it's up to the OPs son to do that for her, especially as she is now verbally abusing his family as well as having attacked him.

AnyoneForTennis · 14/06/2014 23:56

So your granddaughter is in her care?

BuzzardBird · 14/06/2014 23:56

Nuts? Wow

Original poster

aprilanne · 14/06/2014 23:57

thankyou maybe nuts was not correct term .especially how my hubby himself very ill with mental health problems . but she started flinging all his belongings into my garden at 1.30 am .i have never seen anyone so angry she told me .i should,nt shield my adult child .he could just have hit her back and then they would be equall .like two wrongs make a right

OP posts:

passmethewineplease · 14/06/2014 23:57

Anyone I read it as it is the woman's little girl and not their daughter?

Could you clarify OP?

AnyoneForTennis · 14/06/2014 23:58

Title says daughter in law so I don't know

Original poster

aprilanne · 15/06/2014 00:00

anyone for tennis .the little one is not my sons child .i did ask about her and she told me to fuck off .that bit was very sad

OP posts:

ppplease · 15/06/2014 00:07

Agree with the first poster.
and tbh she sounds a bit nuts to me.

Mabelface · 15/06/2014 00:08

Talk to the police. It's harassment.

LineRunner · 15/06/2014 00:10

Is the child at risk of harm?

Original poster

aprilanne · 15/06/2014 00:21

linerunner .i dont think she would do the wee one any harm .she just seems so angry .i told him to stay well away if it was a girl i mean you would not want her to go back .

OP posts:

LineRunner · 15/06/2014 00:27

I understand that, OP. I agree that she sounds very angry, possibly depressed. If you really think the child is safe then I also agree with pp that you should tell her to back off at risk of police involvement - you shouldn't have to put up with this.

If you feel kind you might also tell her that you are sorry for her hurt but she needs to see her GP, not harass you.

getthefeckouttahere · 15/06/2014 02:00

i'm very surprised that no one here has suggested that her son report her to the police for domestic violence. Hmnnn.

Apart from that contact the police about her behaviour to you and yr dad. Its harassment, she'll get an harassment warning and if she does it again she'll be arrested.

emotional83 · 15/06/2014 02:03

Wow this sounds like me a week ago except it was him sending the abusive texts etc. Keep all messages don't delete anything call 101 and make a complaint of harassment. Good luck it's only been a few days for me, but so far I've heard nothing from my ex and he was given a caution.

Original poster

aprilanne · 15/06/2014 20:07

thanks to everyone .i phoned the police non emergency number .they have took details .they told me to give it a couple of days .she may just be getting anger out of her system .so they say .but if she comes near house then just dial 999.but yes my son felt embarresed because it was a man reporting a woman .he is six feet .does a physical job .he said god they will think me a right nancy .

OP posts:

MyLatest · 15/06/2014 21:02

April they will not think that of your son. They will admire his restraint.

The one man I know who was physically abused by his wife was built like the proverbial brick outhouse. She attacked him repeatedly, including with blunt objects. On the one night he pushed her away (after months of this behaviour) she called the police on him after smashing herself into a wall so she had bruises. You might be interested to know that she is a professional with a very responsible job. I believe she did it to gain power in financial and contact negotiations. Her family backed her even though they knew what she was like - they are terrified of her. I wish all men attacked in this way reported their female partners to the police, just as I wish all women abused by male partners did the same.

Your DS doesn't owe her anything after how she has treated him but it would be kind if he made some attempt to phone her GP / HV and make them aware of her text (the one where she admitted she should be back on ADs).

ladymariner · 16/06/2014 07:17

Op, keep all texts and record every instant of harassment to any of your family (dates, times, etc) but absolutely do not engage with this woman. She has physically attacked your son, she is bothering your elderly father, abusing you.....block all contact.
Your ds is your priority, he is who you should be concerned about. If you're worried about the little girl then inform the police but, sad as it is, it is not up to you to sort this woman's issues out. Look after your ds.

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