I no longer want to be a wife.

[gwhappylife]

I love being a mother to my children but I absolutely categorically hate being a wife. I miss being a single mother (even though I only had one DC at that point) and miss those days. I remember having more ups than downs compared to now. It was hard but I smiled more, laughed more and had friends... now I'm lonely. I moved away from family and lost all of my friends due to his job and most of all, he takes me for granted.

I never complain about my duties (motherhood, household work) but whenever I ask H for time out for myself, he makes me feel as if I am complaining about being a mum which isn't the case. He responds by s

I don't consider 'household work' my 'duties'. I don't have to ask my husband for time out, nor does he take me for granted.

Perhaps it's not being a wife you hate, but being this particular guy's wife?

Being married does carry rights and responsibilities IMO but beyond the legal basic they aren't fixed in stone.

You are legally bonded to this man but nobody said you couldn't start from scratch and renegotiate your life together. Do you have to live together, for example? Do you have to sleep in the same room, operate on similar timetables? If the things you are doing at the moment make you miserable, talk about doing things differently. Maybe he is fed up too.

Does he ask you for time out? Or does he just assume he's entitled to it?

dump him

Yeah, dump him.

I'm not going to automatically discount what you are saying, gw. I have a friend who, after 2 marriages and a long term 'live-in', finally concluded that she was 'shit' as a wife, but is a very lovely mum. She really can't explain it, but there is just something in her that can't/won't 'deal' full time living with a man. She was very unhappy after about 6 months in and those relationships lasted about 3 years or so each. She freely admitted it was her, not them, although one of them was a real putz.

It looks as if your post was cut off but it's obvious you feel alone and unappreciated. You need to sit down and think very hard about yourself & your life as it is and if and/or how you can improve it. Think about your husband's attitude and whether or not it needs to change and whether or not you truly believe he can/will change. And above all, do you still love him? In other words, are you better off with him or without him?

Don't do anything hasty, unless of course, there is abuse in your marriage. If so, leave. If not, see if there is still a 'spark' there that you feel is worth fanning back into a flame. If so, see if work and counseling will help both of you.