Does the honeymoon period end?

[ButterflyInFlight]

Exactly what the title says. Does it end? Why? Does it continue, albeit a little less intense?

The clue is in your title! 'Honeymoon period'.

Why do you ask?

Has something happened?

Yes! I never thought it would, but after 18 months I've noticed a shift. The bubble is less intact. I still love him and we still have sex very regularly, but I think we've both become 'real people' to each other.

It's nice, it's the next stage.

Well, Glacinda, I'm currently dating DP and have been for 15 months. We live together and everything is lovely but sometimes I feel like I want to just have some time to myself. I was curious to see if this is "natural progression" in a relationship. And I am also interested in other MNetters' opinions I suppose!

The clue is in the name 'honeymoon period'. If it lasted the whole relationship, it would be called 'a relationship'!

I think it is perfectly normal to have feelings of wanting time to yourself, I have them 13 years into marriage, I'm sure my husband has them from time to time. A little bit of space is a good thing, for me anyway, however if that becomes the main way that you start thinking about your partner, that's different.

It may be nothing more is required than checking you are still living an interesting and full life in other parts of your life and not just as a loved up couple, I don't feel one person can fulfil everything but people are different in this, some love to have very closed contained relationships and others are happier to live more independently.

Why do you feel you need time to yourself and why can't you ask for it? Could it just not be really simple- you need a bit of time, you take it, you are happy in your relationship?

I guess I was/am just feeling that if I take time to pursue my own interests, I am being a bit selfish. I work a 60hr week and DP does 30hours - I don't want DP to think that I don't want to spend time with him. I just want to relax in myself due to my stressful career. Sorry if this seems a bit pathetic, I just love him lots and feeling a bit meh this week.

After a 60 hour week I think most people would want to sit in a dark room and then have a lie down ! Of course you need time to unwind. It's not being selfish. Everyone needs time to recharge and for some that means time alone (I'm the same).

The initial period of a relationship is extremely intense and very sexual but this does tail off because quite frankly it's unsustainable long term... nothing would ever get done if everyone was in these early stages all the time! That doesn't mean however that the relationship doesn't mean as much I think it just changes into a deeper understanding of each other.

Butterfly you sound lovely and I get what you mean totally. I work in a full on job while my DP is retired and running his own rather laid back business. When I get home after a 10 hour day I need peace and quiet and space before I can interact.
Also DP is a messy beggar who clutters up his space while I am a shiny minimalist and don't like stuff lying around. So I have my quiet zone and he has his messy zone. If we had to share the same messy space I would probably kill him! Doesn't mean I don't love him lots though.

Thankyou for your advice, Fairy & Kouign, it makes me feel like less of a silly idiot! xxx

I would say it does. People change as they get older so relationships do too.