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Any trucker wags out there?

1 reply

Fixitagaintomorrow · 14/06/2014 10:24

So DP is a trucker, was when I met him. At the time we met he did tell me it was his dream to go tramping and see all of the UK and possibly Europe so I went in with my eyes open (neither of us were expecting it to turn into anything serious). Then we fell in love and I've hated his job ever since, every company treats him like shit. I've never known an industry where the worker had so little worth.

The first company nearly put him in an early grave. They were constantly switching him between day and night shifts, usually 10hrs so he was like a walking zombie, and there was shredded paper involved so next thing he's coughing up blood. A week later he has pneumonia and is off work for 3 weeks. When he goes back they try to push him too much and when he tells them he's not up to it and would prefer warehouse work for a week or two (he was supposed to have 6 weeks off) they start treating him worse and he ends up telling them to stick it.

The next company seemed great, mostly north and midlands but day runs so we were actually getting to spend quality time together. But DP is a grafter, he goes out of his way to make sure he's done the best job possible for the customer and he will bust his arse to complete a run no matter how stupid it is and this is something companies seem to be taking advantage of. After a while the runs started getting longer and longer til eventually he was pushing the absolute limits. He was doing 14-15 hours every day and using his extensions every other week. By the time he got home we'd have maybe an hour together before he'd have to go to bed. This eventually started to take it's toll on his health too so he started looking elsewhere.

Job 3 seemed like the dogs bollocks. Still day runs and better pay, so I was dubious when they put him in a double manned sleeper cab. Within 2 weeks he was asked to do a night out. From there it got more regular and he was doing 1-2 nights out a week. I didn't really like it but he seemed happy to do it, then one night he had a chat with me and told me how much he hated it and how it had put him off ever wanting to go tramping. I was so relieved. We quickly discovered office staff, particularly the router, we're fucking idiots. The woman got postcodes wrong more often than not leaving him wandering across the UK and having to deal with angry customers, she was always very apologetic but wouldn't speak to the customers. The men were arseholes. Don't know if any of you remember the really bad storms a few months ago where the trucker was killed in Scotland? When police issued a no hgv traffic warning across all of Scotland? They made him drive to Inverness. Told him he'd be sacked for refusing to complete work if he didn't go. He ended up getting stranded up there, I was an absolute mess and when he asked them if he could go the following week because I was so upset the response was "not my fucking problem". When he eventually reached the customer they were surprised to see him as their invoice said it wasn't due to the following week anyway. Rather than going to another shitty class 2 job we decided to borrow some money and he got his adr. When the company found out they offered to pay for it if he signed a 2 year contract but he refused. That's when they turned really nasty and started standing him down (hourly pay so that meant he lost a days pay). When he was in they were putting him on stupid runs. Over Christmas he was headhunted by another company, the money was fantastic but it was a tramping job so he chose to turn it down and wait for something else to come along and it did.

Job 4 is a fantastic company. It's very reputable and there were some very bitchy comments from drivers at company 3 who had tried and failed to even get an interview at this place. He was told it would be day runs with the occasional night out. Class 2 but they were in the motions of bagging a huge adr contract. It wasn't until his first day he found out they had just started silly season and that ALL drivers, even the day-runs-only-never-do-nights-out drivers, are tramping. So that's where we're at now, since April he's been away Mon-Fri every week and will be until August and it's killing me. I can't fault the company, they really look after him but I'm so lonely. I don't have any friends around here so every evening after I've put DD to bed I'm left just sat on my own. We'll speak on the phone for half an hour and occasionally Skype if he's got Internet signal where he is. Most nights I just sit there crying. But I don't want to tell him how I feel because we both know he can't quit this one and it's just going to make him feel shit that I'm really struggling to cope.

Whoever has read this far thank you so much. I'm just looking for others who are in the same situation to tell me how they cope. Have your dps been treated the same and how did you deal with it and does them never being there affect your relationship? How do you make it work?

OP posts:
ohthatsokthen · 14/06/2014 11:20

Hi Fix, my dh is a tanker driver, has worked permanent nights and every weekend for the last 19 years. I have been on my own 5 nights out of 7 and it can be a bit lonely at the weekends when you see the neighbours having barbecues and socialising and he is at work. I know it can be a pain when a job interferes so much with family life but I wonder (and I am asking kindly) if you are depressed? I know its hard to get out and make friends when you are alone with your dd but do you have a job or are you able to get a job? This would at least get you out in the day and perhaps form some friendships. I had a couple of work friends that would come round to mine when dd was little and we would have a girly night in as I was unable to go out. FWIW I suspect your dp is just as fed up as you are - my dh hates going to work on weekends but the job pays well. We make the most of his 2 days off midweek and try and either have a nice meal or go to the cinema. I know it seems hard but it won't be forever - and I know an ADR licence and experience will lead to a very well paid job so he is fortunate to have that. I am glad that we stuck it out all these years as we are now very comfortable financially so all his hard work and our joint sacrifice paid off. If you are able to, see it as an investment in your future. I wish you well.

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