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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Don't know what to do..

9 replies

Letthemtalk · 13/06/2014 20:07

Or where to put this.

My db split from his partner over 2 years ago, after years of emotional abuse from her. The manipulating has continued, he's had legal advice re access to his ds, which was not to take her to court as it would make things worse and just put up with the shot he takes from her. Anyway, he's just started a new relationship, and ex has found out. She says he has to choose between gf or ds, and that she is devastated he's started a new relationship when theirs isn't over ( did I mention the 2 years??)

She's contacted my mum, who has anxiety and depression and said she would visit her with ds tonight. Mum couldn't/wouldn't say no. I've just called my mum and she is still there, and my mum is in tears.

I don't live close, db is an hour away from her and working. I'm worried about her. What do I do??

OP posts:
Hissy · 13/06/2014 20:15

What's happened? Why is your DM in tears? Can you call your DB? Anyone close?

Whocansay · 13/06/2014 20:15

Phone 101 and see if the police can give you advice. She sounds deranged and is harassing your mum.

Letthemtalk · 13/06/2014 20:21

My mum will be in tears because ex will be ranting at her about how shit db is, what she's going to do to the kids, how she's got no one, how she's running away with the kids etc. I don't think ex would be violent, don't think it's a police matter. Fuck, now I'm really worried. Only person I could contact is mums ex, but think he's on holiday. Will leave it a while and call her back.

OP posts:
Letthemtalk · 13/06/2014 20:22

Don't want to text db if I don't have to. He works for emergency services.

OP posts:
cantbelievethisishppening · 13/06/2014 20:24

I can't see how he has any other choice except to now take her to court. She sounds vile.

wafflyversatile · 13/06/2014 20:43

I don't think your DB has had very good advice.

Try a new solicitor and, if possible, go for main custody. (This is probably unrealistic Sad) but he at least needs a court order so she can be shown to be breaking it.

Letthemtalk · 13/06/2014 20:45

Mums called, she's fine. Advice to db was that at the moment he's getting access, albeit frustrated access, and that a court order won't change that. If she wants to be awkward she'll continue to be awkward.

OP posts:
Hissy · 13/06/2014 20:46

Your mother needs help. Call your DB and ask him if he can get a neighbour to go round or something.

He must get better legal advice and get contact formalised.

Hissy · 13/06/2014 20:48

X-post. Good. Glad to hear it!

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