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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ar$ey husband is coming over tonight to talk about ground rules...

15 replies

essbee · 26/03/2004 19:24

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
spacemonkey · 26/03/2004 19:30

Sounds like a sensible idea to me sb!

Just be sure he doesn't pressure you into making any decisions on the spot. Perhaps an idea to discuss tonight then get together again next week to talk about decisions?

Good luck anyway sweetie XXX

LIZS · 26/03/2004 19:31

Good luck, I hope you manage to resolve some of this amicably. Suspect finances are likely to be the biggest bugbear though .

JJ · 26/03/2004 19:34

Is there any way you're going to get something out of this or is going to be a complete dickhead? Will he think you're asking because you need his help? Will he use that against you?

Obv he is a penis-breath (my son's favourite ET line). Roll your eyes when you feel like crying. And get a solicitor!

I'm so mean, I know. Just worried, that's all!

Original poster
essbee · 26/03/2004 19:51

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Freckle · 26/03/2004 19:57

Do you think it might help to have a neutral third party there? Just to ensure that you don't get pressured into agreeing to anything that you're not happy with. Do you have anyone that you would both trust and who would be willing to act in such a role?

marthamoo · 26/03/2004 20:28

Hope it's going OK essbee (need a little "worried" smiley)

Original poster
essbee · 27/03/2004 01:47

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 27/03/2004 08:26

I take it it went well then....

Original poster
essbee · 27/03/2004 14:07

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OP posts:
LIZS · 27/03/2004 14:56

Sounds like he missed the opportunity to regain any credibility . Sadly, probably best handled by a dispassionate expert, at least you made the gesture.

Original poster
essbee · 27/03/2004 15:22

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
LIZS · 27/03/2004 15:37

Sorry he reacted so heavy handedly . He sounds very mixed up if he thought he could just walk back in and yet he can't commit to seeing the kids. Well done you for being so firm.

Your solicitor should at least be able to put what you have agreed on a legal footing or work out an interim maintenance payment, should CSA prove slow - he'd need some paperwork showing income and outgoings but can demand that directly from AH.

Take care, you have come so far.

motherinferior · 27/03/2004 20:56

He's an arse, you're a star. We knew that before, of course, but sorry you had to have this further proof of it
xxx

Lisa78 · 27/03/2004 20:59

Once again essbee, "wankbreath"
Him not you, naturally, you are doing bloody fantastic. And last nights meeting will only do you good and him harm, showing him for the !"£$%&)&"£$%&( arse he is
Well done for trying

Twinkie · 29/03/2004 10:29

Next time you change your name send me an email have been worrying where you were!!

Bloody arrogant wanker he is!!

Don't agree on anything and as for him wanting x amount - the first thing any judge will look at is making sure the children are ok - and you of course as you have the children with you!!

He is a complete C*NT!!! (ooohhhhh I feel angry today!!)

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