Obviously I have changed my name for this, but I am a regular and am not a troll.
A friend of mine split from her dp earlier this year. He basically was never there, always out with his mates and was never there for her or his dd.. He wasn?t a horrible person and they stayed on fairly good terms but she just doesn?t love him any more. Things are made somewhat difficult for her by the fact that her dp is my cousin, and most of her friends round here are related to him, or friends of his, in some way. But most of us weren?t exactly surprised about the split and have no ill feeling towards her. But since they have split up she has met someone else and now the rumour is doing the rounds with the family that she actually split from him because of this other man and that she was actually seeing him before they split. She assures me she wasn?t, but tbh I don?t care either way, it?s her business, but I don?t have any reason to not believe her.
Then recently she came to visit me, our dd?s are similar age and play together. While she was here she told me that just after her dd was born, her xp started staying out a lot, and after some digging around, she found text messages on his phone and emails on his computer, all to another woman. She confronted him about it but he denied everything. She said she tried to make the relationship work, and that as far as she knew whatever he was up to had ended, but things were never the same after. To this day he denies ever having cheated on her.
I have just been to the shops, as I walked across the car park I saw my cousin get out of his car, as he walked over to the shops a woman came out, she had a baby with her, I?d say he was about 18 months old. When she saw him I distinctly heard her say to her little boy ?look, there?s daddy?. To say I was shocked to hear this is an understatement. My cousin picked up the little boy and gave him a big cuddle, something I?ve never even seen him do with his dd, then he put him down and went into the shop and the mum went off on her way. He hadn?t seen me, so I turned round and went home because tbh I don?t know what I would have said if I?d seen him.
But what do I do now? My cousin (friend?s xp) has a child by another woman which was conceived while they were together. Not only that, it appears that he and this child have maintained a relationship, obviously I don?t know if he?s still involved with the woman, and meanwhile my friend has been made out to be the cause of the relationship break-up.
I?m not sure whether telling my friend is adviseable, after all, no-one saw me, so if she finds out she?s not going to know that I know, but should I let my cousin know that I know? If I?ve seen this then surely it?s just a matter of time before someone else potentially does? This child will grow up and then will say to someone about who his daddy is? Is it fair to have this child in secret? Fair to the child that is?
Help.