My mother.

[Imsuchamess]

Ever since I can remember my mum has said I am strong not weak like her and should take care of her.

I am not allowed to find something upsetting because in her words I'm strong so can take it.

When I was 15 I was raped becoming pregnant she forced me to have a termination but refused to come in as I was strong and the stress was too much for someone weak like her. So I went in alone.

The termination went wrong and I spent a month in hospital she only visited me 4 times.

Well today two things have happened that have upset me firstly I have to have a very invasive procedure involving heavy sedation. She said nothing to comfort me. She agreed when pushed to pick me up afterwords but won't stay with me or look after my dc.

Then dh told me something I have scizoaffective and have been psychotically depressed for over a year and a few months ago she tried to convince dh I wasn't really mentally ill.

I'm really upset I feel like going NC but the dc love her to pieces and she treats them great.

have a hug. someone wiser will be along.

How are things with your husband? other family?

My husband is very supportive. Most of my family like to ignore my mental illness except one aunt and uncle who sadly live far away. Example if they ask what I am doing and I say doctors. They ask what for and as soon as I say mental health they ignore it and change the subject. If they pop over and I'm having a bad day they leave. They never ask about my medication or treatment. I also have a scizophrenic uncle and he is given the same treatment as me.

But yet them seem to cope fine when family members have had regular depression it's just the psychosis which causes them to completely shut down and ignore.

I would suggest you think about doing what is best for your mental health. Maybe start by withdrawing a bit?
Do you have any friends, or could you make some that could at least help with emergency child care? Are there any support groups you could go to?
I would also talk about this with your medical professionals and get their advice and support.

She's been exceptionally unhelpful by forcing you to continually deny your feelings. It's very convenient that anything that would involve her giving you support is brushed away with 'you're so strong'.

I'm sorry for what you have been through.

I would place some distance between the two of you.

I have two friends but only one knows about my illness. I'm scared of telling people.

Are there any support groups in your area for people or families with your illness? Maybe those woulf be good places to make new and supportive friends?

Your mother has found a convenient way to avoid being supportive. In an ideal world she'd see the error of her ways and change, but realistically that is unlikely. I think the best would be to start looking elsewhere for support.