Etiquette for when someone you don't fancy on OD

[Delphinegreen]

Been thinking about this as I don't want to be rude.

Do you A) not answer giving a clear message at start which seems a bit rude.

B) answer politely and tail messages off?

Just had difficulties with both methods. One guy accused me of being arrogant for not replying another accused me of leading him on and time wasting (4 emails).

What's the correct nice thing to do?

Join the dating thread, loads of advice over there. There is not enough time in the day to reply to all messages.

How soon did you know you didn't fancy the 4 emails chap?

If I had a message off someone I didn't fancy I replied thanking them for their email but that I was already chatting with someone else and it didn't feel right chatting to more than one man at a time. Sometimes it was true, and sometimes it was a bit of a white lie but I didn't feel comfortable ignoring them or just saying, "I don't find you attractive".

But this only applied if it was a proper message. If I read it and it made me think, "twat". I just ignored.

If I'd been chatting to someone for an afternoon or something and decided they weren't for me, I generally just let the messages tail off.

I don't reply and I don't take it personally if someone doesn't reply to me either.

Just say sorry you're not my type.

There is no way to tell someone without causing them pain that you do not think you are going to be compatible ( euphemism for no way am I going to fancy you, Sunshine) However it is unfair not to be straight forward. You would not like it. So how do you let them down as gently as possible?
What about... I have enjoyed emailing you but from your responses I realise ,that in my opinion , we are not going to be compatible. Thank you anyway and I wish you the best of luck. Regards etc. if they persist, then you need not reply as you have been honest.

I just used to say I had just met someone and wanted to see how it went but thanks for the message. That's if they seemed nice.

I just blocked them. Brutal but oh well. Oops.

Eventually met dh :)

I was assuming that the poster meant a first email. If I have been speaking for a bit and decide they aren't for me I just let things tail off. If I decide due to them being a jerk I just don't reply any more.

First message from them and I don't like their profile - I don't reply

Couple of messages but not going anywhere - tail off / make vague excuses

Outright rude behaviour - I'd block them

Btw I would have blocked both examples you gave

Mmmmm yea thanks guys, it is hard as don't want to be mean/rude but equally seems intense to have to justify to someone why you don't want to engage with them.

Also want to keep OD good karma! It's been 3 yrs •_•

I used to thank them for their message, tell them they sound very nice but having read their profile, I didn't think we'd be right for each other. And if they tried to argue, I'd block them.

I just don't reply. If I've exchanged a couple of messages and change my mind I just don't reply...

They sound like dicks tbh.
Nothing arrogant in not being attracted to someone.

Just tell them they aren't what you are looking for, if they get arsey block them.

Just don't engage. Harsh maybe but OD is not for the faint hearted. As another poster quite rightly said there aren't enough hours in the day and you don't owe anyone a response.

When I did OD it depended on a few factors...

If it was obvious they'd not read my profile, or thought I'd make an exception to my "rules" for them...block without replying. If they can't be bothered to read my profile I can't be bothered to reply. Same went for any "your hot" (yes, they usually spelt "you're" like that too!) or "hi hun, wanna chat" messages. Ignore and block.

If they were compatible on paper but I didn't fancy them I'd say something like "thanks for your message but I'm afraid you aren't quite what I'm looking for, sorry. Best of luck on here". Pretty much every time I'd get a lovely reply back saying how much they appreciated me replying and good luck to me too.

Personally I'd rather get a "thanks but no thanks" than just ignored, so I tend to treat others that way (unless they are arseholes obviously).