Is there any way to fix this?

[Imarriedaknob]

My husband left a week ago. We have been arguing contantly for the last 5 months. We have always bickered as he is quite lazy and does not help out around the house or with the kids much. About 5 months ago he seemed to totally change would hardly speak to me which is very frustrating and always ended up in a massive row (with me doing most of the shouting and him feeling sorry for himself). I thought he was depressed and suggested he try the deoctors who has prescribed him antidepressents although he won't give me much info about his visits. He has quite a stressful job and does work long hours but said its not work its home that is causing it.

I have tried so hard to be understanding and kept my mouth shut loads of times when he has been driving me nuts but there have been some awful things said by each of us. He was refusing to wear his wedding ring even though he knew this really bothered me. I have given him an ultimatum many times to try to sort this out or leave and after a couple of times going and coming back I told him to go and have tried my best to leave him to it. He has been staying with a work friend and I have tried to have no contact hoping he will realise what he is missing. He has been to see the kids once and is coming for them again tonight, I have not tried to stop him seeing them but We have had 2 arguments over text him saying I am been awkward. I have asked him to deal via text for arrangements only and I do not want to speak to him because no contact makes me feel better but he expects me to be friends but I do not want this.

We worked together so I am also trying to keep this quiet for the time being as I can not cope with all the questions.

I Have no family but 2 really good friends who have been amazing. I change from feeling fine to crying and feeling like a piece of shit. Will this get better?

It seems that only he can fix it.
You need to be strong and hold your ground. If you choose to make an ultimatum it should be exactly that.
He is probably waiting and hoping you'll be begging for him to go back. Don't.

Do you think that there might be someone else involved? People who 'totally change' in this context are often weighing up their options. Do stick to your guns over the contact arrangements rather than getting drawn into upsetting arguments. I don't think you can fix anything to do with him but you might find it useful for yourself to get some legal advice at this stage. He sounds as though he's going to be uncooperative and unreliable and you probably need some legal back-up

I have accused him of cheating but he swears its not that hes just sick of the arguments and worn down by it all. I dont really think he would have time and Im sure I would have heard as we do work for the same firm. We have been together for 15 years and Im just so bloody angry with him

Dark periods in a marriage aren't necessarily fatal. Five months' ago would have been a major chance to push for better communication. Instead he opted for either silence or noise but no clarity. Of course if he clammed up how were you supposed to translate what was happening?

Telling you it's home life not work that has affected him is not very illuminating but stopping wearing his wedding ring was provoking. If you hadn't told us you actually work for the same employer I would hazard a guess it was very much work related and he deliberately evaded questions by setting you off in the opposite direction.

Were you supposed to panic and beg him to stay no matter how much of a passenger he had become? Do your DCs know what is going on?

Trotting out the "Let's be friends" is just talk who says that when they parachute out of your life without bothering to highlight where things have deteriorated?

DCs do know what is going on 1 in particular quite upset but thinks we are going to make up but I really think this is it.

He does have a stressful job his boss is currently off sick with stress as my oh is picking up the slack working 15 hour days sometimes so I can understand when he comes home hes tired but he should say no at work.

The arguments usually start as he just does not speak to me and I get so mad being constantly ignored. I have been asking him for months to tell me whats wrong and what we can do to sort it out and he always just says I dont know which drives me mad, I end up shouting and he always says thats what he is sick of. I am trying really hard to have no contact whatsoever because it always ends up with me screaming like a psycho.

Why would you want to fix it? I know there are kids involved but kids often pick up on unhappiness. If he's not wearing his wedding ring I'd suspect cheating. Maybe not but either way it shows he's not truly devoted to you.