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Relationships

Anyone ever get back together with their first love after years and years apart?

72 replies

Needanewkitchen · 12/06/2014 08:33

I gave a possible opportunity to get back in contact with my first love after nearly 20 years. I'm separated with 2 young dc, he's currently single.

I've thought of him often, and would describe as my most significant ex, the one I loved the most. I have no idea how he feels Smile

I'll decide what to do eventually, but just curious if there is anyone out there who did end up back with their first love, how it happened and if it worked out.....

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s444uk · 13/03/2016 23:34

I met a girl at school when I was about 15, we were good friends, hanging out together and meeting after school. As time got on we became better friends, kissing and cuddling and staying out until early hours. never any naughty things as I really respected her! She was my best friend!! One day I told her I loved her, she replied don't silly. But in my heart I did. Anyway, as time went on we went our separate ways. I heard that she got married. Then about ten years ago I started asking about her on a few social media websites, never any answers. So 2 months ago I had a dream about her, woke up and I was determined to find her!!! I did quite a few internet searches, marriage records, births and all that. Eventually I found her present surname. Anyway, to cut a long story short I contacted her daughter on Facebook, told who I was and I wanted to see her mother. She told me all I needed to know. I went to see her last week after 42 years, we were both so glad to see each other. We kissed and hugged, it was like we had never parted! I love her so much! Unfortunately I am still married.
Where do I go from here?

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custardmountains2 · 13/03/2016 23:53

SmileGrinHmm

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kamchatka23 · 14/03/2016 00:09

I did a couple of years ago, after not seeing him for over 20 years. I'd moved to a different part of the country, he'd stayed in my home town. I got in touch with him via mutual friends on Facebook and I went back to see him and we started seeing one another again. Sadly, it only lasted a few months. It didn't work for various reasons really - the distance, the fact I've got two children now one of whom is severely disabled so I don't really get a lot of time to spend on relationships. He's also got a lot of his own health issues due to past years of alchoholism, and I honestly didn't feel I had room in my life to let myself care deeply for someone that I'd just be worrying about all the time when I already have so much to deal with. I still feel sad about it though.

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anonymouscomment · 08/07/2016 15:38

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anonymouscomment · 08/07/2016 15:39

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anonymouscomment · 08/07/2016 15:39

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anonymouscomment · 08/07/2016 15:40

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Thisisnow16 · 08/07/2016 16:21

Nice idea their normally married sprouting loads of sprogs with their other great love Grin

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inastew · 22/07/2016 21:51

Old thread.....
but I been in touch with first love from 30 years ago when we were 16.
Great digging out old photos and to share old stories.

Met once briefly and had a kiss and cuddle and was like old times.
Will try meet again, but tricky with childcare both sides ..... oh and tricky with current partners.

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SusieQwhereareyou · 22/07/2016 21:58

I did.

We went out for a few months at the age of 16. Went our separate ways, got in touch via Facebook almost 10 years ago, stayed in occasional contact. Met up after both out marriages broke down, have been together a year and living together since January. He is the love of my life and I cannot imagine being without him now.

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SusieQwhereareyou · 22/07/2016 21:58

Oh and we are late 30's...20 years apart.

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Beautifulstorm · 22/07/2016 22:06

Me. 8 years later and I married him!

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Itsnowornever01 · 22/07/2016 22:23

Confused how often does this actually happen!? Not a great thread as they are usually just looking for a quick [email protected] behind there wife's back in my experience Grin

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maisiejones · 22/07/2016 22:30

Yes and it was bloody disastrous - just like the first time! 😧

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startingover231 · 22/07/2016 22:49

Me ! Grin I lost my first love when we were 14 when his family moved away! We were both heartbroken. No mobiles or Fb in those days. I found him again on fb after my divorce, 36 years later.... Plucked up the courage to message him. . Although we'd both moved around the country , even at one point living in the same town at the same time 4 streets away , he now lived 20 miles from me, nowhere near the place we'd first met. We met up for a drink, the attraction was still there and it felt like it was meant to be! 18months later we're very much together and making up for lost years.. But we were both divorced and able to meet up without hurting anyone else! I often think 'what if?' And regret the missing years but we're happy now so that's all that counts! And we probably wouldn't have stayed together at 14 forever anyway!

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theansweris42 · 23/07/2016 07:41

I did, we'd been in touch on and off over the years. He pursued me when I was single again with 2 DC. We got married in Jan.
But now we're going through a whole load of crap bcos I've been blind to issues - perhaps bcos I've known him so long and our loving each other has never stopped.
But he loves booze more and I shouldn't have married him.
My message is - try it, but be wary.
I think our ending would have been be a very happy one without the drink, so yours could be Smile

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theansweris42 · 23/07/2016 08:07

Oh, didn't notice it's an old thread...

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inastew · 26/07/2016 13:31

Startingover231 - "found him again on fb after my divorce, 36 years later.... "

WOW.
36 years must be a record? What happened first time you met in person after all that time?
Was kiss quite distinctive?

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StillDrSethHazlittMD · 26/07/2016 15:58

My first serious girlfriend was at school when we were 14-16. I stayed on for sixth form, she left. We lived 18 miles apart in totally opposite directions in a rural area with rubbish public transport so of course it fizzled out as a relationship but we kept in touch as friends with letters a couple of times a year. Oddly enough, I kept in better touch with a mutual friend we had who was actually her best friend.

When we were 19, we both passed our driving tests and she said we should meet up. She had a boyfriend at the time who was far more keen on her than she was on him. We had a great night catching up and reminiscing and I definitely still had a thing for her and I had no girlfriend so sought of wondered "maybe we might get back together".

I didn't pursue anything as she had this chap. But she started to ring up quite often for a chat and we met up again and had another really good night. Week later her best friend rings me up and says all my old flame could talk about was me and how meeting me it all came flooding back and she thought she still loved me.

I still said nothing, she was still seeing someone. We met up two weeks later and she told me that she wanted to know if I could ever see us being more than friends again, because she still had feelings for me, that the only reason we weren't still together was that we never saw each other but now we could. Regardless of which, she was going to tell her boyfriend that weekend that it was over. I said yes, I absolutely could and would love to give it a proper try. We kissed (which I felt a bit bad about because of the boyfriend). That was on the Friday night.

On Sunday morning I had a phone call from my old flame's best friend in tears. She and her boyfriend, who she was going to dump that day, had been killed in a car crash.

If you get the chance, please, take the risk. I'll never know and I still wonder what if, and it's 25 years ago.

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inastew · 26/07/2016 20:30

Jeez.
poster StillDrSethHazlittMD - never expected that ending.
Respect for posting.
Interesting opinion nano 'what if'

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inastew · 29/07/2016 23:04

" If you get the chance, please, take the risk."
....thought provoking statement.....

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GotABitTricky · 12/08/2016 14:47

Due to FB and other social media, this must happen more often nowadays.
or at least TRY to happen as easier to contact old flames now.

User " Itsnowornever01 " makes a fair point - "usually just looking for a quick [email protected] behind there wife's back"
:-)

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JessicaLuis232 · 03/09/2016 07:38

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inastew · 03/09/2016 22:02

agree FaceBook makes it easy to re-connect nowadays

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