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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

IoW Festival

23 replies

nespressofan · 12/06/2014 00:38

My H and I are estranged and divorcing. DS is going off to IoW festival tomorrow. DS is 17. H is taking him there (ffs). H has given DS £200 for the weekend and is also supplying him with booze. What booze I don't know. Why would he do that? I am extremely concerned that if (God forbid) the police call me that DS is in a coma somewhere due to alcohol???? I think what I mean is if you give a kid £200 for a weekend, surely that's wrong for a start, but then to give that kid grog? Am I going mad? I think also what I mean is I should have some control without being controlling and without dickhead's input. I want somehow dickhead to know that what he's doing is wrong.
In my view, if you give a teen £200 that's up to them how they spend it and I would be there to pick up the pieces, but to give a teen alcohol without supervision by an adult is odd. Would like to know what you all think.

OP posts:
tallwivglasses · 12/06/2014 01:13

Have a chat with your DS. Tell him to spend his money on nice food and a couple of souvenirs. Maybe remind him if he gets too off his face he'll miss the best bits... He'll be fine.

Original poster
nespressofan · 12/06/2014 01:24

Thanks Tall! I have done all that. I guess it's H is driving me mad. I don't think he should be giving him £200 plus grog. But that's just me.

OP posts:
AWitchThisWayComes · 12/06/2014 01:46

Hi nespresso,

My DP is doing security for the festival and I just asked him about this. He says that anyone who looks to be under 18 and intoxicated will be asked to provide proof of age and if unable/unwilling to do so, will be escorted from the festival itself and not allowed to go back in.

It's something to do with venue liability and drinking laws. You might want to point that it before they go.

Sorry if that isn't much help, I just thought it would help to have something concrete to throw at them to stop it.

Original poster
nespressofan · 12/06/2014 02:01

Oh thank you so much for that witch, I know (think) that my son is cool. God knows, if I were able to go to a fest at 17 years old with 200 quid in my pocket ........
However, I am concerned that dad is also supplying him with alcohol. I am beside myself with that cos all he is doing actually is being the good dad. Thank you so much for your input. It is much appreciated.

OP posts:
AWitchThisWayComes · 12/06/2014 02:19

No problem, glad I could help.

Oh and if it makes you feel any better, if your estranged H has alcohol on him and tries to enter the festival at the same time as your DS, he'll be made to pour it away by security as it could be seen as potentially supplying a minor Grin

Joysmum · 12/06/2014 06:29

Is your son untrustworthy then? I went on my fist fab holiday with my mates at 17 and we weren't too bad.

TheSteveMilliband · 12/06/2014 06:42

Remember too that you're not supposed to bring alcohol in (and I think they do check), £200 sounds allot but everything is expensive. Sure he'll be fine

Melonbreath · 12/06/2014 06:44

I went to Glastonbury when i was 17 and didn't get drunk, I just had weed. JOKE.
I think i had a couple of pear ciders, certainly not much alcohol, or anything other than hayfever tablets and im not boring i promise. Admittedly i didn't have £200 but i got drunk on just being there if you see what i mean.

Melonbreath · 12/06/2014 06:45

Just tell him he'll have a shit time puking and in the medical tent wrapped in tinfoil stuff.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 12/06/2014 07:50

I'm not really seeing the problem. He's 17 and going to a festival, alcohol is par for the course.

FrozenAteMyDaughter · 12/06/2014 09:05

I went to Iow festival a few years back and they were very thorough about searching for alcohol. It would be hard to get it in. You could still drink it in the camping areas I guess, but how much time is he going to want to spend there rather than in the festival itself?

Has he got somewhere secure to keep his cash? A body belt or something?

Deftones · 12/06/2014 09:11

Lucky kid!! I've been doing festivals since I was 16, I used to drink and do other things but not to excess.

I'm off to 2 this year, I'll take the £200 from him!

Squidstirfry · 12/06/2014 11:10

It sounds as though your DP is trying to be the "fun" "cool" dad... 200 quid is a lot of money, but tbh at least he will be going with him.

Do you trust you DP to supervise? I'm sure he wouldn't allow his own son to become completely intoxicated.

I was going to festivals most summers from age 16, drinking, all the rest, never ended up in hospital.

I understand you concern but imo there's no need to be really furious about it...

magpiegin · 12/06/2014 16:58

The £200 will soon be spent on food etc. things are expensive. What alcohol is he taking? He may want to decant it into different containers just in case they confiscate it.

£200 and some booze doesn't sound too bad to me, unless you don't trust your son. I would let him have the freedom, in less than 12 months he could be left home drinking as much as he likes every day!!!

MrRedAndBlue · 12/06/2014 21:05

i thini you need at £100 spending for a festival - £200 is not excessive. My 17 yrd son is going to a festival in July - i fully expect him and his mates to consume some alcohol over the course of the weekend.

Original poster
nespressofan · 12/06/2014 21:08

It's not about the money. It's not about the alcohol per se. It's the fact that the alcohol was supplied by a 'responsible' adult. He's got the money - so do like we did, be resourceful on your own!

OP posts:
CatteLady · 12/06/2014 21:11

I think he'll be fine...booze was pretty overpriced at Isle of Wight when I was there, so once he's eaten it won't go far over 3-4 nights.

Original poster
nespressofan · 12/06/2014 21:14

He prob won't eat haha! I know I hardly ate. Was far too busy watching the stage and being resourceful!

OP posts:
PrincessOfChina · 12/06/2014 21:16

£200 is not a lot of money for a festival. I could easily spend £30 on food a day and I'm not a 17 year old boy! It works out at £50 a day right?

Booze will be expensive - like £5 a pint. They won't be able to take their own drink on to the festival site (it will be allowed on the campsite only).

Original poster
nespressofan · 12/06/2014 21:18

Thanks Princess. I know all that. Been to more festivals myself than was good for me haha! think I've been misunderstood, it is H supplying booze to a minor that has hacked me off. Anyway, nuff said.

OP posts:
PrincessOfChina · 12/06/2014 21:49

Ah sorry. I thought you were worried about him being spoilt, iyswim.

I think I would rather buy a reasonable amount of booze for a 17 year old tbh. But DD is only 3 so who knows when I'll get a bit more conservative?!

Daisychain5 · 13/06/2014 12:50

Sorry, but have to laugh at this advice 'Tell him to spend his money on nice food and a couple of souvenirs. '......well meant, but still had to laugh!

paxtecum · 13/06/2014 19:38

There are not many 17 year olds who don't drink.

Would you be annoyed if your son was staying at a friend's house and the parents gave him some alcohol?

Do you really expect your DS not to drink until he is 18?

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