Sorry so long and if I ramble but my head is all over the place. I've just joined MN as can't think of where to turn. I've known a man for 2 and a half years, text nearly every day, met my kids (who love him). he lives a long distance away so didn't see each other very often. We were friends at first and then in a (I think) exclusive relationship. During that time I found out he had cheated on his girlfriend (I thought was EX) with me, had lied about other women he'd slept with etc I was heartbroken but in love with him. He accepted he was a pathological liar. I was in so deep and I guess invested so much time I stood by him (looking back he somehow managed to turn it into him being a victim) and I truly believed he loved me but just was struggling to end habitual lying. I know I'm STUPID. I know he's lied to family, friends etc and even committed fraud but I thought because I thought I'd explained he didn't need to lie to me and he could see the pain it caused to me he would treat me different. I guess I loved him as close to unconditionally as you can.
However, I did see that I couldn't be in an exclusive relationship with him and the long distance thing wasn't working so we remained friends with benefits. I didn't ask him anything about the relationship side of his life as he may just be compelled to lie anyway but I did ask that if anything changed I wanted him to be upfront as I couldn't see anything he could tell me would want me to stop being his friend.
Skip forward to last few days. He's visited me and been as attentive and loving as ever. Truly wonderful. I knew he was getting a mortgage to buy a flat but couldn't figure out how he could afford it. This morning I asked him outright if he was going to be living with anyone else. He said a friend, female and when I asked, no he hadn't slept with her and it was more of a convenience thing. According to him nothing was going to change between us. For the first time ever I followed my gut instinct and told him that was bull and to at least tell me the truth as I can handle it, so I thought. The reality is (as much as he's willing to admit) he's being seeing her several months (we haven't seen each other in that time) and they're in a relationship. I asked if they were supposedly exclusive and he said he doesn't ask what she gets up to and she could be getting up to allsorts when she goes out. I said that's not the point. I asked if he loves her and he just shrugged his shoulders so asked if he tells her he loves her and he said 'yes'. I said 'well, put it this way if she found out we'd slept together would she be hurt?' he said 'yes'! I'm so furious that he's doing this to someone AGAIN and who is so trusting and unsuspecting. She is much younger and is getting a mortgage with him. Obviously I'm mad that he tried to lie to me again even though he did come clean in the end. If I hadn't said he was talking bull he would have kept stringing us both along. He even said he would still come and see me and text me. What's really sad is I'm tempted to let him :( but I just can't stop thinking about this poor girl getting financially tied to him. I feel so used, dirty and stupid. I'm try to always look for the best in people but it gets me hurt.
Please tell me how to get over him and what to do. I will miss him terribly from my life but do not want to be the 'other woman'. I'm such a mess.