Isn't it strange how first impressions are always right?

[Frontier]

Or am I imagining it?

Sometimes I have completely misjudged someone but it's usually when I haven't gone with my first impression. If I liked (or didn't) someone when we first met and then changed my mind once I got to know them better it often turns out my first impression was correct.

There's a young man, early 20s, who come to my running club. He's very quiet and a much better runner than me so I can't claim to know him well at all but he comes across as very likable and a good guy. I have no experience to base this impression on, but that's how he seems.

I bumped into him in the supermarket. He was helping a very elderly lady with her shopping. They were having a lovely time, laughing a lot and he was infinitely patient with her indecisiveness and worrying. I still know nothing about him really but what a nice young man!

Maybe it's just me but I tend to find the opposite. :) If I instantly take either a big dislike to someone or really like them on meeting I always hang back and give it another chance because I get it wrong so often it's embarrassing.

Yeah, I'm crap at assessing people too. My first impressions are generally incorrect, so much so that I've learnt to ignore my own intuition!

Yep my first impressions are usually incorrect too. The amount of times I've instantly disliked someone only for them to become a great friend down the line. I think it's because you tend to clash initially with people who are like you only to find further along that you have lots in common.

Yes i find the same as you OP.

A few months ago a woman approached me about a possible business relationship, i wasnt yet ready to set up and told her this but she said she could wait. I had a funny feeling that she wasnt keen on playing by the book WRT taxes etc and made up a quote that i knew she wouldnt accept. My friend who is in the same line of work then met her and they agreed to work together, i warned friend of my concern and she said if i was right she would soon end te relationship. I saw friend this week and she told me i was right, this woman was on the take and was asking friend to fiddle figures an lots of other little stuff that added up to my friend being taken for a ride so she has ended the relationship.

I do tend to find my gut is spot on based on first impressions so i trust it completely now after doubting in the past and geting stung.

I find that my first impressions are usually right - and sometimes, people take a very long time to show you who they really are.

A good friend of mine got together with a guy at university. He was nice enough, but something always made me keep him at arm's length. They married and had kids and ostensibly had a nice life together. I put away my doubts and tried to treat him as I would any good friend's DH.

A while ago they made a life-changing decision and moved away for a few years. When it was time to come home he decided that he wanted to stay, stole all the passports and cancelled the flights home. Friend is now stuck in a country where neither of them can legally stay but can't leave because of the passports. After all this came out, so did all the stuff about the appalling way he'd treated her over the past few years.

It's amazing how someone can hide who they are for years.

I think there are first impressions and there are first impressions.

I learnt that people you wouldn't normally think a lot of, and have a poor first impression of can under the right circumstances end up being your best and most trusted friends. Its mainly to do with how much time you have to spend in their company and whether you have the option to meet other people.

In a small pool of people, you will spend more time getting to know them and bond with them in ways you didn't think you would because of a shared experience or interest.

I am generally right about first impressions, but I think giving the benefit of the doubt can can be a good thing too.

I generally agree. But I work in a public-facing job so I think I've got a good nose and I find I get the measure of people pretty quick. I tend to think "ignore gut instinct at your peril".

I think first impressions sometimes are right, but I will admit if I was wrong about someone.

I do worry about the impression I give as I am very shy and introverted, though I am told I have a lovely smile, and must have a friendly face as lots of customers approach me in work. So I hope even though I am quiet, I give off a good vibe!

I often have really strong reactions to people on a first impression. I have definitely been wrong in the past, including my dp who I strongly disliked on first meeting!

I often trust my gut instinct - I met a new mum at school once, she was very very friendly even inviting us round straight away. I kept my distance for a while I thought maybe I had been reading too much about 'red flags' then felt bad maybe I was judging her.

Lets just say. My daughter will never forget going round. And I should have trusted my gut instinct.

My first impressions tend to be right.

I pride myself, though, on never listening to anyone's opinion of a person and prefer to judge them for myself. I find the good in most people. I tend not to see the bad.

Naive?

i often find i just don't gel with somebody. we just couldn't find a single thing to say to each other if you locked is in a room with a bottle of wine.

I don't think I conclude that they're 'good' or 'bad'. But I just know quickly if I can connect with somebody.

I tend to trust my judgment on first impressions and I am rarely (but not never ...) proved wrong.

My first impressions are rubbish, but I did once meet someone I just clicked with immediately.

first impressions in person are totally different to first impressions over phone, internet, social media

In person some people judge on looks or clothes, I suggest dont judge a book by its cover. Look for the soul underneath

I'm not usually the sort of person who judges somebody at face value... usually.
I recently got it totally wrong when I did though, I have a friend who is older than me and has a son about the same age as me (20's). When I met him he was wearing tracksuit bottoms, doing that dodgy walk thing some young men seem to do, and generally how he came across was erm... well there is no polite way to put it!

After a bizarre set of events I've ended up with him as my house mate. He is the most gentle, funny, kind person you could ever wish to meet. He is incredibly intelligent and basically I was an idiot to have made such an assumption about him.

My first impressions have usually proved correct, and I base it on gut instinct and having an initial conversation or hearing the person talking to another person/people.

Once or twice I have not listened to my instincts then been shown my initial gut feelings were right. Both times I was being used [subtly at first] but had chosen to blame myself for being so cynical and being judgmental.

I now trust myself....if something doesn't feel right, it isn't.