The horror of facial hair...can I divorce him for growing a moustache?!?

[ScummyMummy]

Help! My partner is threatening to allow his bum fluff to congregate on his upper lip! NO NO NO! He's even enlisted the support of our (nearly) 3 year olds. Can betrayal go further?!

No offence to those of you whose idea of sex on legs includes beards down to the knees but for me this is all too much!

Urghhhhhhhhhh - I HATE facial hair too. Luckily for me, dh won't grow that thing on his top lip again. He gets stopped at customs because he looks very dodgy.

Tell him he'll look like Ali G - that should stop anyone!

Or that twit Beppe from EastEnders.
Or, that men will start coming on to him at the gym (even if the moustache he is planning will be completely un-cloneish)
Or, that you will divorce him if he does this.
Or, that you will grow your armpit hair down to your knees in retaliation.
My dh has occasionally mulled this one over and I have threatened all of the above.
Yuk. I am with Ailsa on this. Pogonophobes of the world, unite.

Definitely. What if he gets a medallion and an open necked shirt too!!! Aargh. R

He won't be much use when it comes to delicate intimate relations (unless you like your fancy being tickled like that).

Imperfect satisfaction on your part equals not any for him as far as I remember. Sounds dangerously close to lawyer's fees!

Tell him its an internationally recognised gay 'come-on'!! I mean, look at George Michael! I was once told that when you go for an interview some people mark you down with a beard or moustache because it was said that it meant a person couldn't be arsed to have a shave of a morning!!! And as for tickling your fancy... for a moment I thought I'd arrived at the wrong site!! EEeee you are fruity!!

Definitely grounds for divorce, I'd say!!!! (and tell him if he grows one, so will you)

Beppe from Eastenders known as Bumface in the Guardian..nuff said. definitely grounds for divorce.

Tell him he'll look like a porn star (although this may encourage some men!!!) Yuk... Scummymummy... I sympathise...

Isn't there a website that allows you to see how you'd look with a new hair colour or style? does this cover facial hair too?

Could you put his photo on the computer and play around with the facial hair growth? Get your sons to join in. The results should be suitably off-putting.

Scummy, I'm with everyone else on this one! Show him these comments! Remind him of Burt Reynolds et al. Good luck

Have some sympathy with this but from a different direction. dH has a nice short beard which is actually much softer than stubble! However, I have seen the photos of him with just a moustache and yup, thats when I'd call the lawyers.
dd (21 months) likes to give daddys beard a good tugging, that could be a deterrent. A tweaked moustache would hurt..

Scummy, only just seen this thread and I am astonished!!! I know he seems like a great man (v supportive, mentioning your birthday on here and other general loveliness) but purleeease! Think of your future and the future of your children! I can see it all now...shunned by the public, hissed at in the street, never able to go on normal family outings through the shame of it all, please please talk him out of it or I'm afraid I may never be able to talk to you again knowing you are sharing a bed with a hairy upper lip. I'm sorry the truth is harsh sometimes but its better that you hear it now and not when you've started down the road to fluffsville with dp and his....eeew...can't even say it, y'know, thing!!

Hear Hear Lizzer!

Did anyone see Beppe talking to Lorraine Kelly this morning? He said that when he leaves Eastenders the facial hair is GOING!!! Can't quite picture what he'll look like without it, must be an improvement.

The power of Mumsnet... has just made my man go from almost tears- when I told him about all your lovely supportive messages on the thread about his Dad's heart bypass- to almost peeing himself with laughter- when I mentioned the rabid objections to his potentially hairy face!

Part of his hilarity seems to stem from the fact that he has no intention of growing his upper lip hair. (Thank the Lord!) It was a joke that he never thought I'd fall for and he is extremely delighted that I not only fell for it but also posted a thread about it in my urgency to prevent it! Am feeling a tad stupid- but at least we've cheered him up a bit!

Hurrah! Your man is perfect after all! I began to have my doubts when you raised this thread, but my faith has been restored!

Yes Faith I agree, always had Scummylover down for a bit of a godlike creature and thankfully I can now rest in peace for all eternity knowing he is what he seems and hasn't grown a....y'know what!

Let me get this straight- I'm living with a perfect GODLIKE creature??????? I live and learn!

CathB - are you me? First, you like the Archers, then you're the lone voice in favour of beards, as well as having another very obvious thing in common with me! So what can I do but echo what you said, ie beards are much softer than one day old stubble. "Bumfluff" only appears on the faces of those wimps who can't grow proper beards. You're all just jealous!

without my dh (short) beard he looks about 17! I fancy him much more with it - although I worry about the job issue. He will shave when he goes for interviews.
Btw - yes it does tickle my fancy!!!!!

Dh now and again grows a goaty. He keeps it quite short so is abit spikey. I like him with or without but sometimes when he grows it I decide I dont like it at that time and get him to shave it off. Dont think Id fancy him growing a full set though.

My DH sometimes has a short beard and sometimes not. He has eczema and psoriasis and shaving is ocasionally just too painful. I never even notice whether he is hirsute or not, tbh - I'd be hopeless if I had to describe him to anyone cos I wouldn't know!

I clicked on this thread thinking "at last, someone who understands the horror of immacing every fortnight, legs being stared at in swimmimg pools...etc." But sadly, I feel all alone again, (well with my furry face and legs for company)!!
I am having tests for PCOS and apparantly hairyness is a symptom. I also agree that hairy faces (male or female) are best kept in the animal kingdom.

hoorah! thank you scrummymummy for starting a witty funny thread... sometimes mothering can be just too serious and hearing all this talk about 'tickled fancies' has meade me guffaw!!

How could mothers talk like this!!!!

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