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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to help a friend through a relationship crisis

2 replies

Feelingabitatsea · 09/06/2014 17:22

One of my oldest, dearest friends has told me that her b*stard husband has cheated on her and admitted it when confronted. Apparently this happened quite a few months ago, but she hadn't told anyone until she told me. She has asked me not to tell anyone at all, not even my DH, as she feels very embarrassed about it (though she shouldn't be!) and doesn't want it to get out, so there's no-one in IRL I can discuss this with.

She is not yet sure what she wants to do - she had always thought she would leave immediately if this happened, but now with young kids and being a SAHM, she's not sure what is the best thing to do for her and her children. As she admits openly she is very good at putting on a brave face to the world and is a "head in the sand" type person.

I'm wondering what the best way is to support her through this - regardless of what she decides. My initial reaction is to say LTB, but I don't think that's helpful to her and would likely drive her away - plus if she ends up staying with him, then things could get awkward. She hasn't told anyone else at all, and I want to ensure she feels able to talk to me about this as much/little as she needs to.

For those of you who have been through this - on either side - what should I do/avoid doing?

OP posts:
nespressofan · 09/06/2014 17:25

Listen, advise (copy all financials, see a solicitor) and don't judge.

afluffylamb · 09/06/2014 19:19

Will be sending you a DM shortly with my thoughts on this.

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