Blaming the wrong person for no contact. How to stop?

[Solasum]

Until ex got a new girlfriend, he saw DS regularly. Now it is basically never. Ex has told me that gf thinks he should see DS more. Which means it is all down to him. I am having real problems not blaming her anyway though, for depriving DS of the little bit of dad he did have.

I don't want to end up bitter and resentful, especially assuming she will stick around and maybe have siblings for DS. What can I do?

Why, if you know he's the one reducing contact, do you not blame your ex? Why is it better to blame his new girlfriend.... how does that benefit you? Also, have you ever formalised the contact legally or just left it up to goodwill and chance?

I suppot because I am still clinging on to the idea of him not being a poor excuse for a man.

No, all on goodwill. There is no point getting it formalised because he will not do it anyway.

If he won't commit to contact with his own child either formally or informally then the bald truth is that he really is a poor excuse for a man. Does he pay maintenance regularly and is that settled informally or via CSA etc? Because if that's likely to fall by the wayside as well, then you need legal advice Nobody likes to admit they made a bad choice as partner or father of their children... is that the problem?

What can I do?

Nothing, sadly.

You can only make your DS available for contact.

How is your DS reacting to it? How old is he?

Everything is informal at the moment. He does pay regularly, though is vocal about how he runs out of money every month. As we work together I am confident there is no way he can wriggle out of paying though.

DS is a baby, so not conscious of it yet, thankfully.

I'd let it go. Lay off any pressure on him. He may actually contact the baby more if he doesn't feel he is doing you a favour.