What should she do?

[phoebeflangey]

Seriously for a mate, I only wish I had such an exciting love life lol.
Friend has been seeing a guy that treats her really well she says, they spend wkends doing nice things and he's always complimenting her. Trouble is, she's not that attracted to him. She's been trying to override how she feels in that way as she really likes him and would like it to work, but she feels like they aren't really suited in other areas
Is she being unreasonable to stay with him in the hope of something changing and knowing she could have a stable life with him or should she tell him now?

If it were me I'd have to be honest. It feels good to be complimented and treated well but in the long run I couldn't stay with someone I didn't really fancy and I don't think that's likely to chagne.

How old is she? And he?

she could have a stable life with him sounds like something you might seek in your 70s, over and above looking for a sexual attraction!

If he feels more for her than she feels for him, then I think she's not being fair with him.
I think she'd always be 'looking' for Mr Right and won't give the guy she's with now the love her deserves. Far better to break up now so they can both find 'the one'.

She's mid 20's and he's early 30's. It's such a shame as he is a really nice bloke, and she just doesn't know what/how to do?

Argh. I hate these situations. Good guy, treats her like gold, she isn't interested. I've been there myself and I had to be honest with both of us and end it there. FWIW though I never regretted it.

no no no - she's far too young to be with someone she doesn't really fancy, she'll only end up resenting him eventually. It is a shame and I've been there myself but it's no good to let it caryy on.

Tht young, I would and have, been out of here like a shot. If she was ten years older, I might have a different view. But no, it cnnot be good to just settle.

no! she'll end up irrationally hating him, and instead of appreciating how nice he is as a person, she'd only see a man she isn't attracted too! add to this any tough times that might be coming, OR her meeting a guy she's attracted to later on, and it will all be a big mess.

Set him freeeeeeeeee!

Trying to settle at mid twenties will not work long-term, not happily, for her or him.

That said some people are grower. If she is determined to give it a chance on the basis of him being a good guy then I'd suggest starting with fantasising about whatever his most attractive physical feature is, or whatever she has a soft spot for, fantasising about his then move onto other things. e.g. hands.

What if he changes? People do, you know. My sister-in-law married a besuited insurance broker who within four years had become a hippy tree-hugger. If she had only married him for stability, she woul have up, up a tree, with someone she didn't love and never had loved

Trying to 'override' how you feel.... i.e. brush doubts under the carpet.... inevitably leads to a very lumpy carpet and is a big waste of everyone's time. It's also slightly cruel and egotistical to keep a perfectly nice man on a string, taking advantage of him. when there's no future in it. I find myself often saying here... 'he's not a bad man, just the wrong man'.

Been there done that, dumped him, broke his heart. It would never have worked, on paper he was a perfect match for me, also kind attractive intelligent, had a great job, shared interests etc. I just didnt fancy him! I met my husband a couple of months later, he was in a pub, covered in cement and completely broke, couldnt even buy me a drink! I thought he was the best looking man I'd ever seen in my life, and we are very still happy 22 years later. Chemistry is crucial IMO.