Feel sad mother can show love to my child must never did to me

[littlegreengloworm]

I guess I am glad and happy that my DM loves my DS but it stings a bit how living she is towards him. Tells him, kisses him.

I don't remember her ever bring like this with me, or siblings. I remember getting badly beaten with a slipper, ignored. When I as studying for my A levels she screamed and shouted when I came home from the library that u was out drinking all day. So much so I got into an awful state and my fer took me out of he house and told me to make sure and apply to Uni far away. Even now, she is a very difficult woman. But when I ring her, she's never interested in anything I've to say. She wants me to put baby on the phone and is all ' I love you '

What is it all about? I find it very hard to deal with. She waits for things to criticise me about but one of the only compliments she has given me is that I am great mother, that baby is so content and sometimes she cries sayin she was too young.

Relations are strained and irreparable IMO. I am polite and dutiful but my heart doesn't go out to love her.

Loving not living

I am a M and a MIL. I come from a toxic background. We were an outwardly 'normal ' respectable family but I odid not feel love from anyone when I was a child. So then I had my own four children. I did not behave exactly the same way as my parents did and luckily they were blessed with a truly loving Father. I then had counselling which was like a bomb exploding in my head. It gave me insight into myself and I changed. I begged my children's forgiveness for every hurt/ slights/ acts of selfishness/ shouting etc. Then my grandchildren were born and in a way it was like being given a second chance. They look like my own DC and I have to confess the love I feel for them is unconditional and overwhelming. I worship them. Perhaps OP this is where your DM is coming from. She is getting a second chance at being the parent she should have been.

littlegreen I can see how hurtful this must be, perhaps checking out some of the Stately Homes threads may help you sort through your own feelings. It also strikes me that your mum is very fond of your child now they are a baby, but bigger children can be more questioning and teens much more difficult- her cooing and so on may not be followed up by great grandparenting as the child gets older. Look after you and your child first.

Agree with then.

She maybe great now, but wait till you DS starts to question and talk back. She doesn't sound like she has had a realisation that she was a bad mum. So as soon as your ds reaches that stage, watch her like a hawk and put firm boundaries up.