We both agree that DS#2 was 'a baby too far'. He wasn't planned. We are broke, tired and stressed. However he is adorable and we wouldn't be without him. But recently DH has started to say things like 'life would be so much easier without Joe' and 'if Joe wasn't here we'd be home free by now'. He seems to be struggling with the children generally and his first resort in any slight difficulty is to shout at them. He can only seem to cope on his own with one of them - all three is a disaster and everyone ends up stressed and the kids in tears. He wants instant and unquestioning obedience which isn't the way we planned to communicate with our children. He reduces them to tears regularly. He is very anti-smacking but can't see that yelling at them all the time isn't really much better. I lose my rag from time to time but usually only under time pressure - ie school run with all 3 on my own as bloody usual!
Yesterday I tried to explain how I felt and asked if we could perhaps try to have a calm quiet day with no shouting, especially as the older 2 were going back to school today and not totally happy about it. He did make an effort and the whole day was 100x calmer and better - no shouting and no tears - but that might be because he took DD shopping on her own for about 3 hours.
I got really cross on Saturday with a neighbour - she never passes us in the street without some jokey comment about the kids along the lines of 'that looks like hard work' or 'bet you can't wait for school to start again'. It makes me so mad! I love my kids and would never wish them away! I told DH how I felt and he told me not to be so sensitive - after all don't we both feel that way sometimes. No. I don't! it upsets me so much - I never wanted kids when younger but now that they are here I realise that having them is the best thing I ever did! It seems that DH doesn't feel that way any more and I don't know what's changed to make him different.