Friendships

[TiffanyAtBreakfast]

I shan't bore you all with the details but I'm feeling a bit blue at the moment with some pretty sub-par friends (cough - being twats).
I keep thinking that once we have a baby I might meet some new people who are on a similar wave length and make new friends.

So I guess my pondering is, did you find this was the case for you following going to NCT groups or joining new classes? Genuinely interested to know prays for new pals like a pathetic person

Please note we are not TTC simply to make new friends! Just really hoping it might end up that way

Honestly, not really but I've made some nice acquaintances who invite me for nights out once in a while. A few from our baby group made very good friends with each other but they tend to hang around in pairs. Some of the groups I went to were very cliquey and even in the nice ones there was an element of competition. Now our babies are older (2) the competition seems worse than ever, it's mostly about choices and money tbh. I thought I'd make firm friends with the new mums I met but it hasn't worked out that way.

It might be different for you, just don't expect too much because it's very disappointing when it doesn't work out.

I met some lovely ladies through the NCT but I did find our closeness was short lived. Once the babies turned one everyone was back at work and it was harder to arrange meet ups as toddlers are far less portable and flexible than infants. Still text each other every so often but it's not very frequent or close.

I do feel the sting of crap friends though, so I sympathise. I have some who were fine when I was pregnant but seem to have dropped me once my son was born and I never got them back, I have tried to text and email and arrange meetups especially since I got out of the baby fog this spring. I sent them both a text and an email during the week to try and catch up, and heard nothing, then Facebook updated today to show they had just arrived in the south of France. Where I used to spend a weekend with them every summer. Neither of them had responded to me at all or mentioned it. I'm feeling the sting. That's my old life carrying on without me in it and I resent it and I am hurt and angry that my friends ditched me when I had a baby, even though I listen to their work woes and love life tales and try hard not to make faces when they bitch about having to cover mothers at work leaving at five sharp to do nursery pickups and how hard it is to arrange maternity cover.

Yes but not immediately. I agree that the early baby stages can be competitive and cliquey, though that is a LOT down to insecurity and the confusion of new parenthood and it doesn't mean they are really like that overall.

As my children have started nursery and school I can honestly say I've made some of the dearest and most beloved friends of my life.

But it's a long game. You have to be infinitely patient and sensitive with people where their children are concerned and it won't usually happen overnight.

I made 3-4 very good friends when I had my pfb and they remain firm friends 10 years later. See each other regularly, celebrate birthdays, keep in touch a lot.