Shall I de - friend him?

[Whatahoohaa]

Fb friended an old boyfriend from uni twenty odd yrs ago in 2009, triggering friendly/very mildly flirtatious e mail exchanges for a while. He was divorced.. However I somewhat later found he had a girlfriend who had just moved in and so these e mails were less frequent , more friend like but continued for a fair while. He got married to her last year ... Shall I de friend him now?

Do what you want.

If you want to be FB friends with him - no.

If you don't - yes.

was he flirting with you while he had the girlfriend or that happened later ?

He was flirting with me at first while he had the girlfriend but I thought he was divorced and single.

he is a bastard then, defriend

Well I don't want to be a crazy stalker, and since we no longer e mail it seems a false " friendship" now, as we are not really friends.
I asked if we should stop being e mail friends after his getting married and he said we could still be friends but it seems wrong as we were previously bf gf , never friends in the past ..always in and out of a relationship together over a long period of time.

Is it worth even the effort of defriending him? Or do you have only a few facebook friends so he kind of stands out? I am quite lazy so rarely bother to defriend people on Facebook unless they really get on my tits.

He does not stand out but maybe its about me taking control and deciding not to be friends any longer.

From your first post I would have said, no need to unfriend him just because he's married, especially if the contact between you is limited and not flirty. But if something about keeping him in your life - even if only on facebook - bothers you or keeps playing on your mind, then by all means, do it. Maybe it's something you need to do to close that door?

Thanks , have not decided yet

I find it's good to click the unfollow this person option because then they are still on your friends list avoiding any potential hassle about unfriending etc. But it's like there not because you never see any of their statuses etc.

Do you mind so much that he is married? Did you only take him on as a friend because you thought he was single?

I think that de friending might put a stop to it once and for all. If you have only ever been on off as lovers, then you are not friends and it is weird. Have you a new lover yet? If nothing came to fruition with this man then maybe he is not the one for you and yes maybe move on properly.

I get the sense that its more about the OP needing closure than about there being anything really "wrong" with their friendship/occasional contact.

I had someone on my facebook that I dated on and off. He met someone and to be perfectly honest I used to go into his profile to see if they were still together every now and again due to still having a bit of a soft spot for him. Recently I saw a picture with holding a cake that had "Happy Birthday to my Fiance" written across it.

I de-friended.

That's the thing.. It's a combination of him wanting to probably check me out at first so not letting on he had a live in girlfriend, and now he has married her he is not interested in keeping in touch .. Ergo we were not really friends were we? .. And examining my own motives.. If he had remanied as I thought , single, I would definitely have wanted to meet up as he suggested etc.. Now he is married well he's a nice enough guy but really we can't be friends it's all too awkward .
Haven't de friended yet. Am already not following him. The last e mail was mine.

Think I've solved it..I've deactivated myself :)