Dating 2nd time round. What was your differences?

[Canihaveonemoreslice]

Here's some history.

I'm late 30s and had been with dh since I was 17. We separated last year and I began dating just under two months ago, we see each other once or twice a week.
I'm currently dating the only person from online who interested me and the only one I ever met up with.

Dating second time round feels different and I'm trying to Suss out if this is normal or means the relationship is doomed.

When I was dating stbxh I remember feeling giddy with excitement, I remember wanting to see him every night and rip his clothes off. I remember spending hrs talking about our dreams etc and feeling proud that he was my bf. I was just happy to be with him and flirted etc.

However this time round I feel more grounded and too sensible. I like the company and look forward to seeing him and think he's nice with good qualities but when I started dating again I expected to feel like I did with stbxh. I don't know if it's because I've matured and no longer that excitable 17yr old or if I'm holding something back. Or does it mean that he isn't who I'm meant to be with and if I did find the ' one' I would be feeling like that 17 yr old again.

I worry that I'm not having strong enough feelings about him and therefore there's no future in the relationship. But then there's nothing I dislike about him so will those feelings grow as it's still early days.
Most of my friends are still married so I have no one to ask about this.

Those of you who are dating second time round or are with someone after separating, did you have any differences, uncertainties?

Thanks

I did a bit of OD after my marriage of 14 years ended. Met up with a few guys before meeting dp. I definitely felt that giddy head over heels thing with him, couldn't keep my hands off him and now, 2 years later, I still miss him every day I'm not with him and we have a very physical relationship, the best ever for both of us.

I don't think that being older and more cynical wiser definitely has to mean less excitement, just that perhaps you have to counter it with being a little bit sensitive to how it affects the dcs etc.

Who's to say whether your man is Mr Right or not, big love can grow out of more modest beginnings and passion doesn't always equal happiness.

The opposite for me. Second time round (I'm in my thirties) giddy with excitement, can't keep my hands off him. Want to see him all the time.

I serial dated since I was 17 till I got married at 33. Must have dated at least 6 men seriously and many other less seriously. I got progressively less giddy over time. My dh is the perfect match for me in terms of marriage. Those rip-clothes-off previous boyfriends would have made poor long term relationships.

I think he's just not the one for you.

As a second time a rounder in my 40's i have noticed that women seem an awful lot keener and more up front about sex than they were back in the day. On the whole i feel this is a positive development!

I'm a 50 something second time arounder too.

I've dated quite a few men since divorcing. The first was instant very powerful chemistry but the relationship which developed was poor - the chemistry fizzled for me. I've been hoping for the kind of attraction you have described - where you talk into the small hours, want to rip their clothes off etc.

Well, I appear to have found someone OD which whom that's exactly what's happening. However, with my big girl pants on I know it has to translate to RL so we've dropped the level of messages and plan to meet this week. We're both of the view that we might not click but feel we ought to see. I have a question in my mind about it which i'm thinking of posting about myself.

I think my uncertainties are based on past experience of rushing in (see above re chemistry) and of thinking good men = boring and uninteresting. The difference now is that I'm not afraid to put boundaries in place if I think it's too fast, going in the wrong direction etc. Decent blokes will not only respect that, they'll have their own boundaries.

Thanks for the replies all.
Maybe I have unrealistic expectations. I was so fed up and bored in my marriage and craved what me and stbxh once had that I assumed I would find someone who made me feel excited again, I was imagining dating someone new would bring me a zest for life and wanting to be with someone 247. .

I do look forward to seeing him and enjoy texting etc but not sure if that spark will grow or not.

Am I over analysing it? Should I just continue and see where the future takes me?