It really sucks when your mates' kids don't get on with your child.

[superstarheartbreaker]

I'm not sure how to deal with this but I have a lovely newish friend. Her dd and my dd are in the same class but her dd is being very mean to mine. I have seen it happen and I know that the husband is very cross and has told her dd off. The meanness is still happening though. How do I deal with this without loosing a friend?

It has happened in the past that I can no longer hang out with certain friends as our kids don't get on. It really sucks. Friendships are hard enough without these extra dynamics. It sucks for my child too btw.... Her being treated like this.

I see it a lot between friends & has come up between me & some of my friends, too.

I have some lovely friendships that started because our children get along, others because we parents get along, some where the children get along bug we parents don't and some were the parents do and the children don't.

As you have seen from the four combinations above, there is only one where everybody likes each other. Those relationships are special because they are not exactly common.

Children fall in and out of their friendships all the time, if you like the parents see them without the children.

If the other girl is unkind, let the school manage it but also try to teach her to defend herself/get out of the bully's range and help her to grow a thicker skin (we all benefit of having one of those, and I said that as a mother of a very sensitive kid!)

I think the best thing I can do is model positive friendships... And that includes not taking it personally if the children don't get on.

How often does this happen? I only ask because if its happening repeatedly perhaps you need to ask why?

YANBU
I hardly ever see a DF because my DDs and her older DD don't get on.

It's utterly ridiculous, she's nice just a bit confidence free. She try's too hard to be an ordinary teen and my DD1 doesn't try hard enough to play along.

She is rather over bearing and bossy with DD2 and her little sister, but DD2 has way better social skills than any of us (me, DD1, DF or DFs DD1 and DD2)

DD2 is 100% of politely and firmly telling her to get lost, but for some reason she just lets her annoy her.

DF is very sweet, but a bit neurotic, it's incredibly hard to say lets just have grown up coffee when the DDs are at school.

It does and there's nothing you can do about it. If children don't like each other then they don't like each other, they wont have the attitude of "Well we don't like each but, we'll have to get on coz our parents are friends. xx